Perfectly Horrible
by Teagan Roze
Summary: Poor Hidan got sold out by his greedy partner, and is now a prisoner of Konoha. They're overjoyed to have a member of the Akatsuki to interrogate at first, but of course things are never that easy. How do you make a masochist talk when he doesn't want to? I adopted this story from Dementia777. I am going to upload all her chapters then add mine. I hope you enjoy it! XD
1. Foul Mouthed, Silver Haired Menace

Hello everyone who actually clicked on the link very original title link of my story (that's sarcasm, that title is used and abused but I'm lazy) even after seeing that it's a crack yaoi story. Not that it's something I should be sorry for, but I'll say this anyways, sorry that I couldn't fit the warning in the summary (really I should be apologizing for not being able to write anything good).

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Hidan woke slowly in a dimly lit room that smelled of sour water and old blood. Not terribly unfamiliar, but there was an unusual air of urgency in the room, as if something was calling for him to get out as fast as he possibly could. For some inexplicable reason, Hidan felt like he shouldn't be here. Instantly, he knew that moving would be out of the question, however. His muscles were practically screaming when he wasn't even doing so much as trying to sit up. He felt like he slept nailed to a crucifix (that's not too out of the ordinary for him, actually) and he was ready to beat himself up for whatever the hell he actually did, that is, after he figured out what the hell he was doing here in the first place.

Not only was every nerve in his body screaming with pain, but his heart was pounding at an unhealthy and fast pace. Somehow through the haze of his conscious he felt every bit of discomfort, pain, fatigue, and even emotions that he was too tired, too confused, to completely identify.

The quiet of the room felt as if it were going to devour him, the eerie glow from torches on the walls were somehow intimidating, the prospect of the unknown here was mocking him with potential danger. For the first time in a long time, Hidan felt scared.

His muscles were too tired to even fathom getting up right now, but he simply had to know what was around him here. He tried to look around without sitting up, but he couldn't make anything out besides stone walls and some crudely constructed stone tables that were probably the same as what he seemed to be chained down on. Even the dim light of the torches hurt Hidan's eyes and made his head pound, but curiosity overrode the throbbing pain.

The whole experience so far, despite his sadomasochistic personality, was not anything that Hidan was terribly fond of. Maybe the worst of all was how he felt a little helpless. Even if he wasn't so much in pain, escaping would be no simple matter seeing as he was chained down in unfamiliar territory without any recollection of how he got there in the first place. But that would ideal compared to the shape he was in right now, his arms and legs were not only were sore, but they didn't even respond when he tried to move them even a little bit. Feeling like he wasn't in control was such a foreign feeling for Hidan, maybe even a little frightening.

Due that nagging fear and human need to know where he was, Hidan again tried to survey his surroundings. Maybe even just identify how he got in this place and then he would give his body a bit of a rest while he thought about what he should do. Just search for any shred of familiarity and go from there. He couldn't do any of that just lying down, as he found out earlier. However, the intimately familiar sound of chains rattling reminded him that sitting up would be a very difficult thing to do. He could hardly move three inches from his current position, and unfortunately for him, that wasn't nearly enough to make any decent discoveries.

"Where the fuck... Am I?" He asked, finally frustrated enough to begin verbally expressing himself in what he thought to be an empty room, but much to his surprise he heard a sadistic laugh and then an amused voice.

"Awake are we?"

"Where the fuck am I?" Hidan asked again, now aggressive towards his captor. Somehow, the fear dispersed when he realized he wasn't alone. Maybe it was just his arrogance, thinking that another human couldn't really do much damage to him, but none the less he felt almost a little relieved. This was of course, much to the surprise of the man who was watching Hidan's fear slowly unfold before him and then completely disappear once an enemy stood before him. Oh well, if the job was going to be easy, he wouldn't have been the one who was insisted upon doing it.

While Hidan began searching for someone to begin questioning as to why he was hear and what the big idea was, the other man in the room remained completely hidden by the abundant shadows in the room. He wanted just a bit longer to study Hidan's demeanor before taking any action.

It took awhile, but heavy footsteps came towards the religious zealot and he was able to make out a dull outline of another man in the room. His face was completely obscured by the lack of light, but Hidan could tell he was a rather well built individual. Probably was pretty strong. A faint glare of light on a metal headband revealed that the man was a ninja from the leaf village.

Hidan felt light-headed, and a little sick. Still, that did nothing to change his demanding a loud personality, "Where the fuck am I? I asked you that question like two minutes ago, you piece of shit!"

"You should know. It was your partner, Kakuzu, who sold you out," The unknown Konoha nin commented oh so calmly. His cool and composed personality was the polar opposite of Hidan's hot headed approach and that did everything in the world to piss the silver haired man off.

Even though it shouldn't have really bothered Hidan to hear that, he was immensely pissed off that such a thing happened. Sure, Kakuzu always threatened to do just what he had, Hidan never really believed that it would actually happen. Not because Kakuzu didn't have the balls, Hidan knew that if he wasn't careful that Kakuzu would sell him out in half a second, but his arrogance assured him that he would never get tricked and humiliated in such a way.

Hidan only had himself to blame, and he would later, but right now his hate would be focused on the man before him first. His eyes flashed with a dangerous hatred and he went on in a menacingly low tone, "Just who the fuck do you think you are? I swear to Jashin-sama that once I get out of these fucking chains, I will sacrifice every mother fucking piece of shit in the hidden leaf village." Hidan looked directly at where he assumed the others face was. He would've liked to thrash and make a bigger scene, but his body was too restrained by the metal chains and the drugs Kakuzu used to subdue him.

The other man, unfazed from the threats that were spouted by the half asleep zealot in front of him, found a chair and sat. The torch illuminated half of his face and he looked to be somewhat amused at the situation. "Well, now that we're all nicely acquainted, we might as well tell each other our names."

"Fuck you!"

He let his head rest on his hands, and went on to say, "That's alright if you don't want to tell me. I already know, your name's Hidan. Mine's Ibiki."

"Well then _Ibiki,_fuck you to motherfucking hell, you little bitch! I swear by everything, Jashin-sama will avenge me! You've just made the _worst_ mistake of your life by locking me down here in this shit hole!"

How much more amused could Ibiki become without being classified as boarder line psychotic? Well, maybe he would have to go quite a bit in reverse to be outside of that label, but he wondered if it was unhealthy to be having so much fun with this. Not that it truly mattered how psychotic he was in the first place, since he was getting paid for enacting torture that always got a confession, and was expected to have something wrong with him.

He went on with setting up the stage for himself, "I was told that Jashinists are often masochistic because of their beliefs. At least the devout ones are."

"And I was told that Ibiki from Konoha is a sadistic bastard that gets some kind of sick, sexual pleasure from torturing others," Hidan said with a smirk.

Ibiki narrowed his gaze on Hidan. He wasn't even completely sure how the zealot knew so much as his name, and he didn't like that one bit. "I was wondering, about your religion," He tried to change the subject

"What about it, bastard?"

"Is hypocrisy a sin?"

Hidan's eyes flashed with hate again, and then something else. Ibiki labeled the second as mischievous inspiration.

"Of course not."

"What is a sin?"

Hidan repressed a smile, "Telling secrets, bastard. And if you want to try and torture me, I'd be more than willing to endure your lame ass excuse for torture."

"Why would you endure anything for an organization that won't even bother coming here for you. One of the members is even the one who sold you out."

An arrogant yawn and general look of disinterest took over Hidan's face this time. He was bored of his own game already. "Why does that matter? I don't think that he was given permission to do that. It's no one's fault but mine for not killing the bastard before this happened."

"So you knew he was going to do this?"

"Eventually. I'm sorta pissed though."

"At Kakuzu?"

Hidan looked at the ceiling, "Nah. Kakuzu told me straight that he'd do anything to get rid of me and be by himself. I'm just pissed that he was really capable of getting rid of me."

"Do I detect self-loathing?"

"What?" Hidan glared at the other man. His technique was subtle, but Hidan was smarter than he's given credit for. He knew how to see through torture methods better than anyone, since it was his favorite pass time in the first place.

"I'm just a little curious how you, a great ninja, got here. If I insult you, it's only a bad habit. I'm sorry." Ibiki's tone was anything but apologetic, but Hidan brushed it off and just decided to be a little more on guard.

"Well, I'm kinda a little curious too. I thought me and Kakuzu could last as partners cause we kinda understood each other. I mean, I thought I could tell when Kakuzu would try to get rid of me for real."

"He drugged you, but I'm not really sure how."

"He's a medic. He sure as hell has ways to do something like that." Hidan replied aloofly. He honestly was tired of the conversation, despite his previous desire to meet the famous torture fanatic of Konoha, Ibiki. "Hey, I got a question for you now."

"What's that?"

"Is your method of torture boring others to death? Geez man, I don't care how the old bastard got rid of me. It doesn't hurt my fucking feelings, cause I knew it was going to happen."

"Then why did you stay there?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you leave?"

Hidan stopped for a minute to think. Why the hell _did_ he stay with a guy who promised to sell him out to whomever paid a high enough price?

Bingo. Ibiki got him. He hit a weak spot, and pretty soon the man would be broken.

Or so he thought, before the zealot continued unfazed, "I guess, to make myself a better follower of Jashin-sama."

"What?" Ibiki stared in disbelief, Hidan seemed completely solemn and serious.

"Well, Jashin didn't tell me to leave so I didn't. He wanted me to stay so I'd be sent here. He wanted me here so I could cultivate my hate."

"Is that really what you believe?"

"Eh, something like that. I have faith that Jashin put me here, and when he wants me out, I'll get out."

"You're clinically insane."

"And you're a sociopath."

"No, I'm sadistic, but we already covered that."

Damnit. Damnit. Damnit all to hell. Ibiki was going to be the one going crazy if he didn't find some way to attack Hidan, and soon. Time for a different approach?

"Hidan, would you like to leave this cell?"

"And here I thought we were being all chummy. You want me to leave already?"

"Not leave the village. I don't think I could arrange that. But just leave this cell."

"What do you want?"

"You to talk."

"I am talking... Or at least, I think this is talking."

"You know what I mean. Tell me about the Akatsuki, and I'll arrange for a comfier place for you."

"I'm not telling you anything."

"Under any circumstance?"

"I wouldn't say that," Hidan said with and irrepressible smirk.

"I thought it was a sin to-"

"They're all heretics who reject Jashin-sama. As long as you promise to kill them, I'm just being a good priest helping them along to their demise."

"You're impossibly confusing."

"So I've been told."

"What do you want?"

So far Hidan had just been throwing things out there until something came of the conversation until it became interesting. It was interesting now, but he was at a loss for words. What did he want?

"I guess, untying me would be a start."

"Not yet."

"Pain killers then? I can't move my neck."

"I can arrange that, but it'll take at least fifteen minutes. You can imagine that I don't carry them to work with me."

"That's not all it's going to take."

"What else then?"

"Kill everyone in that organization."

"That's our goal here."

"Give me a nice pad."

"Done."

And, I guess there's one thing that I want more than anything else."

"What's that?"

"A bastard that nearly blew me up, goes by the name of Shikamaru."

Ibiki was reluctant, "I can't do that without the Hokage's permission."

"Then get it, and get him here. By tomorrow afternoon."

"Alright."

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	2. Harmonious Discord

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Shikamaru was anything but excited when he made his way to the meeting point for his next mission. It was another one of those days where he cursed himself for not getting a easy desk job instead of following in his dumb ass father's footsteps. What a drag.

When Shikamaru did finally show up to the per-arranged place, he noticed something off. No one was anywhere in sight. An even bigger drag. The dark haired nin sighed and wondered if his partner went anywhere else for shelter, considering it was just raining before Shikamaru decided to show up. He sighed and looked around, seeing the best place around for shelter, an old seemingly abandoned cave.

Couldn't hurt to at least try... Shikamaru thought, although he wasn't too confident in finding his partner. They probably left once he was a second late and it was pouring down rain on their heads. So annoying, but if he left now then he would get chewed out pointlessly by a certain blond Sanin who seemed to be perpetually PMSing.

Looking down the long tunnel Shikamaru could see a pour source of light flickering in the distance. He decided that it was more than likely the person he was supposed to meet and went into the cave to check it out. It couldn't hurt.

He started carelessly down the way. He really wasn't one of those to always be on guard and serious all the time, something that he really needed to change. Regardless, he wasn't like a proper ninja who was tense and expecting an attack at any moment. His non-nonchalance is what caused him to have slow reaction time when he accidentally pulled a inconveniently placed trip wire.

Shikamaru quickly got out of the way of the explosion and falling ruble as soon as he knew what was going on, but his leg still got injured. He inwardly cursed himself again for becoming a ninja instead of a simpler career, not that it mattered at the moment. The only thing he could do now was limp down the long and damp path to meet his mission partner so they could figure the situation out and get out.

"Hello?" He called, hoping his teammate would be able to hear him and come to help, of course only to be ignored if anyone actually heard him call. Continuing down the path with his now injured leg and bad mood.

When he got to the end of the tunnel where he saw the lame light, his mood only worsened. "What are you doing here?"

The Jashinist who was just waking up from a nap mumbled an incoherent answer while he tried his best to match the voice to someone, since it didn't sound like Ibiki again.

"I asked you why you're here," Shikamaru repeated, angrier by the minute. "You're the asshole who killed Asuma-sensei!"

Finally realizing who it was talking to him, Hidan smiled arrogantly, but due to his chains couldn't look at the boy. "What the fuck are you doing here, is a better question, dumb ass."

Shikamaru didn't allow himself to be thrown off topic, "I'm supposed to meet someone just outside!"

"Whatever. Are you the one who caused the explosion outside, genius?"

Shikamaru frowned, "Shut up."

Shikamaru couldn't help but still be curious about the situation, however. He took a good look around the room he was standing in and realized something was definitely off. There were puddles of sour water and blood all around the room, not to mention a rather disturbing array of torcher devices.

The entire room, despite it's lack of furniture or anything remotely close to that, had quite a few stone tables identical to the one Hidan was bound to. It also had about six flickering torches barely illuminating all off the contents of the room.

"Is this the torcher division's base?" Shikamaru thought aloud. He had to admit, it was disgusting and looked a little bit too much for even the asshole who was infront of him.

"No fucking duh, Sherlock," Hidan rudely answered the question, even though it wasn't asked of him.

Shikamaru glared at the annoying man, "I was supposed to meet someone, not listen to your bullshit, so if you would, shut up."

Hidan chuckled this. "You sure as hell wouldn't be so confident if you really understood how much fucking trouble you're in."

"For some reason, I'm not exactly scared of a priest chained to a table." Shikamaru said casually, really irritating Hidan.

"Fucker, how stupid are you? I won't be the one to kill you, there's no air coming in here now that you sealed up the fucking exit!" Hidan yelled, pulling at his chains unconsciously.

_Since when was Hidan smart enough to put two and two together?_ Shikamaru asked himself mentally. Shook off the creepy feeling he got from the silver haired psychopath and tried to think calmly. Hidan should be the last person he would be afraid of, when he's tied down to a table anyways.

Sitting down to think about how the hell he was going to get out of the trouble he got himself into, he came up with practically nothing. Disappointed with his inability to think up a plan he figured he could go and try to activate some more explosions in hopes that a small opening would be made so he could get out. Of course, in the middle of his calculations, he heard the annoying foul mouthed menace Hidan speaking ever so ignorantly, apparently not realizing that he was chained and completely vulnerable to anything Shikamaru felt like doing.

"Hey fucker, I could get you outta this shit, if you let me out of these chains," Hidan coaxed, pulling weakly at the chains. "The keys are just on the other side of the room.

"Don't make such arrogant requests. I'm not going to help you."

"What do you have to lose, I mean you're gonna die if you don't do SOMETHING." Hidan teased.

"Shut up." Was Shikamaru's response as he tried to focus on getting out.

"Fine, die in this Jashin damned place you motherfucker, I'm gonna pray that you live though, just so you can meet a more painful demise later!" Hidan yelled and closed his eyes to pray.

Shikamaru did well to ignore the zealot and continue with his mental calculations so he could get as far away as humanly possible. Never again would he take another mission where he had to meet someone outside of the village, that's for sure.

"Hey, fuckhead!" Hidan called, demanding Shikamaru's attention.

Shikamaru turned his head to glare at the captive priest, but then noticed that he wasn't so captive anymore...

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	3. Grotesque Beauty

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_Upon seeing Hidan free and obviously angry, Shikamaru instinctively feel backwards to put some distance between himself and the offending nin. A pathetic attempt but then again, Shikamaru wasn't exactly prepared for a fight, mentally or physically.

Hidan merely laughed and took a few steps forward, in which Shikamaru countered by crawling backwards and keeping his eye on the enemy. Until of course he reached the wall of the chamber and partially out of disbelief, looked back to see if it really was the end of his pathetic escape attempt.

Big mistake. While Shikamaru was looking at the wall and cursing whatever force put him in this situation, Hidan didn't miss a beat and picked him up by his throat. The silver haired nin gave a toothy grin at his captive. "We've got a few days before air runs out and you die. It won't much affect me though, so I'm not too concerned about that."

Shikamaru gulped, but then realized that they weren't so far from the village that hope was lost, and that gave him a slight confidence boost. "I don't need to worry about that either, ass face! Someone at the village heard the explosion and is sure to be coming right now!"

Hidan had to admit, he didn't think about that, but he just shrugged at this statement. "Big deal. This won't take so long, anyways."

Shikamaru shuttered. He was a ninja, and he knew that death could come at anytime. It was his job to be prepared for this type of stuff, but really he didn't like the thought of dying here... Not like this!

Hidan continued his smiling, but much to Shikamaru's surprise, he didn't hit or tighten his grip on the boy's neck. Instead he stood there quietly for a minute to assess his situation with Shikamaru.

Shikamaru began to wonder what Hidan's true intentions were if they weren't to kill him, which would've easily been done ten minutes ago if that was all there was.

The silver haired man sighed, "They'll be here soon." He said distantly, as if Shikamaru wasn't there. "I've got fifteen minutes, at the most."

Shikamaru blinked and looked at Hidan's face hoping to read his mind. He knew that Hidan was referring to some Konoha nin that heard the explosion, because he felt their presence as well. There were several of them and it was more than likely a trained rescue team.

The thing Shikamaru couldn't understand was, fifteen minutes for what? If Hidan had wanted to escape, he wouldn't be sticking around here pining Shikamaru to a wall and mumbling to himself, he would have killed the dark haired nin and be gone in under five minutes.

But instead, he was standing here with a firm grip on Shikamaru, and his intentions were anything but clear. Did he want to get caught and chained back up? Sure he was a masochist and all, so maybe, but still, what the hell?

Shikamaru figured since Hidan didn't seem to want to kill him, he might as well ask what he _did_ want, "Fifteen minutes for what?"

Hidan seemed to be brought back to reality with those few words. He shook his head and smiled, "Fifteen minutes to have fun, of course."

"F-fun?"

"Sure. Do you know how long I've been down here, while only getting to see some scarred up freak talk about incoherent things while I have no choice to listen or sleep?" Hidan closed his eyes for a bit longer than a standard blink, and when he opened them back he seemed to have nothing but pure hate in them. "I need some release, I'm so fucking tense it's not even funny, dammit!"

Shikamaru gulped, wondering what his part in it would be.

Hidan's grip tightened sightly and he raised Shikamaru off the ground, inadvertently taking out his anger out on his captive "Ibiki's his name, he really pisses me off, but I have to say you're much better company."

Shikamaru's hands came up to make Hidan loosen his grip just enough for him to keep breathing, making Hidan realize that he was choking his captive and he loosened his grip quite a bit and returned Shikamaru to the ground.

Shikamaru was beyond confused now, but choose not to speak anymore. Not that he stopped himself from wondering what the hell the silver haired zealot was really after here.

Hidan spaced out for a brief moment, but when he came back to reality he fixed on his captive and decided he had spent enough time talking and standing around. He slammed his lips down on Shikamaru's roughly.

To say the least, the kiss caught Shikamaru completely off guard and Hidan used this to advantage, managing to force his tongue inside Shikamaru's mouth and explore.

When Shikamaru got his senses back on reality he tried to push Hidan off of him, and failed miserably, not able to move the man an inch. Shikamaru tried to wiggle out of Hidan's grip but he was held firmly against the wall and his captor wasn't about to let that change.

In a desperation move, Shikamaru bit down on Hidan's tongue, drawing blood.

Hidan moaned but ended the kiss, "What the Hell was that for?"

Shikamaru was a little surprised by Hidan's reaction, forgetting for a moment that he was a masochist. He didn't let this deter his anger, however, "What do you think, dumb ass?"

Hidan's eyes narrowed, "I take it back. Maybe Ibiki isn't as nice to look at as you, but he's at least easier to be around."

Shikamaru glared, but it didn't make Hidan hesitate for a single moment, because he resumed the kiss Shikamaru ended earlier but rougher this time. Shikamaru knew that Hidan bruised his lips, and this time the zealot had a painfully firm grip on his wrists.

Hidan's tongue explored every crevice of Shikamaru's mouth, and only when he was sure that Shikamaru was about to pass out from lack of breathing, he ended the kiss.

Shikamaru tried to jerk his arms from Hidan's steel grip but instead was met with miserable failure.

Hidan frowned and threw Shikamaru against the wall for struggling so much, "What the hell are you trying to do?"

"Get away from you, jackass!" Shikamaru spat angrily.

"Don't make this fucking hard, like I don't already have enough to deal with." Hidan replied, referring to the team of Konoha nin outside, who were surely close to being done with clearing the debris.

As Shikamaru started to fall down in pain, Hidan jerked him back up by his mesh shirt and forced him up against the wall. The weaker Konoha nin winced and tried to look away from Hidan.

"Don't fucking look down," Hidan snarled and yanked Shikamaru's hair so he would have to look at the zealot. Hidan smiled and whisphered into his captive's ear, "I doubt this will be much of a surprise to you, but I'm not just a masochistic murderer... I also like to have some extra fun with my more attractive victims."

Shikamaru felt his heart stop for a minute. He hoped to whatever god that he didn't hear what he just thought he did. Unintentionally, he spoke his thoughts, "W-what did you just-"

Hidan cut him off with another rough kiss and kept him pined to the wall, so hard that Shikamaru couldn't even think about anything but how bad it hurt, and how much he wished that Hidan would've just snapped his neck and escaped like any sane person would've. Then again, Shikamaru realized asking for sanity from Hidan would be like asking for forgiveness from Jigsaw, or kindness from Otis Driftwood.

In time, Shikamaru was sure that the others would be here, however, and was grateful for it. He only hoped that it would be quickly, because right now the minutes were dragging on for what seemed like hours and Shikamaru was afraid of what Hidan's next move would be.

Even more so that worrying about Hidan, Shikamaru was partially worried about himself as well. His body was prone to betraying his thoughts, and the last thing Shikamaru wanted was for Hidan to be encouraged in the least.

_Please, please, please, whoever is coming, hurry!_ Shikamaru thought as Hidan began sucking on his neck while exploring the younger boy's slim body.

"You're not struggling anymore, does that mean you like it?" Hidan asked softly as he was working his way under the boy's shirt.

Shikamaru frowned and unknowingly blushed at this statement, resenting the man before him more by the minute. Maybe it wouldn't be THIS bad if it wasn't for Hidan's annoying mouth constantly reminding him just who was trying to get into his pants.

Hidan slowly eased Shikamaru to the ground without having to use too much force, he has already successfully tired the raven haired boy out and resisting seemed stupid in the first place now, since Hidan was obviously strong enough to stop him from stopping any of this.

Slowly, Hidan eased Shikamaru into a gentler kiss while he was focusing most of his energy on undoing his jacket which was pissing the masochist off to the point he might just bring out a kunai and cut the damn thing, if it wasn't reinforced to protect against knives and the like.

Shikamaru closed his eyes and tried to tell his body to stop enjoying any part of this rape, but he was a virgin, gay, teenage boy who was having some guilty pleasure with a, let's face it, a pretty hot guy. Shikamaru resolved that he would feel bad about this later but right now it was pretty hard to pretend he didn't at least like this a little bit.

Shikamaru had enough self control to stop himself from participating, just because the others were coming and he didn't want to be caught willingly fucking a criminal he should hate, but he stopped acting like he hated the whole thing. He even allowed himself to give Hidan some encouragement by letting out a low and seducing moan.

Actually, maybe that was going too far because Shikamaru definitely wasn't willing to lose his virginity to a psychopathic murderer in a cave that had blood liberally sprayed on it's walls. However in all honesty, despite his morals, he was enjoying this more that he wanted to admit.

A man entered the room, but Hidan didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he at least didn't want to show it. The man said confidently, "That's enough, Hidan."

"Ibiki!" Shikamaru exclaimed, happy that he came before Hidan grew tired of foreplay.

Ibiki seemed to be slightly amused by the scene in front of him, but didn't express it too obviously. "I'm glad that you two are acquainted, that will save me the trouble of doing too much explaining."

Shikamaru was openly confused, and Hidan was pissed.

"Ibiki, what's going on? Why do you look like you expected this!" Shikamaru demanded.

"Well, besides you tripping the wire sooner than expected, everything went pretty much according to plan."

"W-what?"

Ibiki smiled, and it was far from comforting, "Shikamaru, this is your new mission partner for the next few months. You are to move into a special apartment by the days end."

"You're kidding!" Shikamaru protested, but Ibiki payed little attention. He was more concerned with how Hidan would react. Luckily, it was just as planned, Hidan was grinning like a kid in a candy store.

Ibiki smiled wider, pleased with the direction that the mission was going, "Don't worry, Shikamaru. This is a top secret mission. The only other person beside me and Hidan who will know about this is the Hokage herself. Unless, of course, you want to go and announce it to the whole village."

Shikamaru swallowed and looked at Hidan, who never got off him, and was now grinning down at his new roommate. Shikamaru thought he was going to be sick. What the hell did he do to deserve this? Where the hell was Karma when you needed it?


	4. All Together Seperate

I hope you guys enjoy this, because I know it put me through hell + two pots of coffee, so if it sounds like I was high when I wrote this, you're at least close.

Coffee makes me do things, bad things...

Oh yeah, before anyone says something, even though I really don't think they will... Ino's mom has never been revealed in the anime and she could be dead for all I know, but I figured I could use her here anyways as a minor role.

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Shikamaru didn't know what to do, really. He was so used to being the calm and cool one. The one in control, but right now he was flustered and confused. The mission didn't even make sense, and the only remotely good thing that happened so far was convincing Ibiki to let him move in tomorrow, not tonight. Even that, which was worthy of praise seeing as Ibiki wasn't one to be moved in decisions very often, was a minor achievement in Shikamaru's eyes now.

He knew that missions were always stupid, always seemed to be more trouble than they were worth, but this was worse. It was humiliating, degrading, disgusting! Shikamaru felt a little gross, and even guilty when he thought about it.

Unknown to anyone besides Ino who surprisingly could actually keep a secret for a teammate, Shikamaru has a thing for his best friend, Choji. Going on a mission like this made the unlucky nin feel dirty and like a traitor even if it wasn't completely true.

This mission was very unpleasant in it's very basis, without going into anything personal about it. However, part of it that would be the very worst would be losing himself to Hidan before he'd even been able to tell Choji that he loved him. He'd been saving himself for the time he gathered the courage to tell Choji how he felt, and if of course, Choji felt the same. Now all those years didn't particularly matter.

Shikamaru wished that he would've talked to Choji about his feelings sooner, or even that Ino had done what everyone would have expected and told someone, who told someone else, who got the word back to Choji. He couldn't go tell the lovably chubby man now, considering what he was going to have to do for the sake of this mission. It just wouldn't be right to get Choji involved into the whole thing after all this anyways.

Being lost in thought, Shikamaru hadn't even realized that he wondered into the shopping district. His mother of course, had to be there and had to notice how troubled her son looked. Why would karma start having mercy on the poor boy now, anyways?

"Shikamaru honey!" She called out, snapping Shikamaru away from his thought. His mother, Yoshino, was at a vegetable stand, he went over to her. It was very common for her to bring him or his father shopping so they could do all the heavy lifting. This time, however, Shikamaru wouldn't mind nearly as much since this would help him get his mind off his problems, if only for a little while.

Instead of giving him all the bags that she already had from her grocery shopping so far she just looked at him, in a concerned motherly way, "What's wrong dear?"

Shikamaru avoided her eyes. Even being a hardened shinobi, he knew perfectly well how dangerous those eyes were. They have made both his father and himself crumble many times before.

"Shikamaru, what's wrong?" She repeated.

"Nothing."

"I'm your mother, Shikamaru. I know the difference between nothing and something."

He looked up at his mother briefly before returning back to the ground, "I just got an extended mission, so it's a drag and all. It doesn't really matter," Shikamaru sighed at the lame excuse.

Yoshino was a mother and wife, so while maybe she is a bit troublesome according to her son and husband, she was a pretty good at her only jobs. She had no problem seeing that it was not only the mission that seemed to be upsetting her son, but she wasn't going to dig. If a mission was involved, he couldn't talk about the specifics even if he really wanted to.

"Shikamaru dear, would you like me to make you something special before you have to head off on your mission?"

He nodded, mackerel sounded good. It was his favorite after all, and his mom was a pretty awesome cook. That would help a little bit. He told her what he wanted.

Shikamaru offered to help carry the groceries, but Yoshino insisted that he go out and say good bye to his friends instead. It didn't sound like the most horrible thing to at least tell Choji that he was going to go on a mission. He'd just leave the specifics out of the conversation.

Setting off to find Choji, then maybe Ino, he left his mom with a hug and thank-you. It took her by surprise, to see her son act like he was going off to never be heard from again (which he would've preferred), but none the less, enjoyed the affection.

He found Ino first, because she was always in the same place. Selling flowers in her family's shop. He walked in and Ino instantly lit up. Shikamaru and her had become very close, he was like her gay best friend, and nothing cheered her up after a long day running the store and listening to her boring parents all day than seeing him.

He tried to return her sincere smile, and she was so concerned about her own less than perfect day that she didn't notice his less than radiant smile like she normally would've. "Shika!"

"What's up Ino?" He asked, acting casual.

"Guess what happened today?"

"A lot of things happened today," Shikamaru replied, smiling out of amusement at the energetic blonde.

"But something that doesn't normally happen happened today!" She went on, "Ibiki came in and ordered a bouquet of white roses."

Shikamaru didn't exactly like hearing that. Anything about Ibiki wasn't exactly welcome at the moment.

Wait, why would he order roses? Shikamaru wondered. He kept his distaste towards Ibiki at bay and said, "Him? Roses?"

"That's what I thought. I always thought he wasn't interested in romance."

"Maybe they're for a grave?"

Ino rolled her eyes, "People get vases for putting things on graves. He got a bouquet."

Shikamaru smiled, "Maybe he didn't read the rulebook for flowers and occasions?"

Ino laughed, "You're right. Ibiki is way too weird for anyone to date, right?"

Shikamaru agreed that he was weird, but in somewhere there has to be someone who is at least close to being as weird as him? "Maybe he's a secret admirer?"

Ino disapproved of that idea immediately, "Let's hope not. Secret admirers are supposed to be romantic and mysterious. Ibiki being a secret admirer would totally scar someone!"

Shikamaru burst out laughing. He knew Ino was the perfect romantic. She always talked about being rescued by a noble knight like a princess, and every now and then, Shikamaru just had to laugh at her idealism.

Ino pouted, thinking she was the butt of the joke, "Well, what would you do?"

"I guess you have a point there, if I got flowers from Ibiki, I'd run from the village and change my name. He is like the definition of creepy. It's just funny that it's not only me thinking that now."

"Ino! We're not paying you to stand around talking to your friends."

"Oh can it mom, we haven't had more than a few customers all day and there sure isn't anyone coming in five minutes from closing time!" Ino shot back, as if she'd been preparing for a scolding since Shikamaru walked in.

"Sorry Miss Yamanaka!" Shikamaru called to Ino's mother who was in the back arranging flowers to be sold.

"Why couldn't we have had a more respectful child..." Ino's mother continued as she came out into the shop, "But it's not your fault, Shikamaru."

Ino frowned and stuck out her tongue at her mother. They never seemed to get along very well, but Shikamaru learned awhile ago that he should always stay out of arguments between the two.

Ino looked at the clock at the front of the shop. "Closing time! Let's go talk somewhere else, Shika!" She said excitedly and took Shikamaru's hand, dragging him out before her argument with her mother escalated.

Once they were out of range from Ino's mother, she smiled at Shikamaru. To no great surprise, she brought them to their favorite tea stand where they seemed to be able to sit and talk for hours without being interrupted by anyone.

"I'll buy today," She smiled.

Before Shikamaru could even say anything, she got two cups of tea and two sticks of dango. "Mom can be such a pain. Oh well."

Shikamaru took their normal seat in the back corner, close to the counter. It was a nice place and Shikamaru was glad to be here before a mission. The owners knew both him and Ino by name.

Today, in a show of kindness the waitress that had been working there for at least four years now gave them their dango for free with the tea. Ino smiled and handed Shikamaru his, as she took the top dumpling off of her own.

Shikamaru smiled a little bit, but now that Ino had been in his company for awhile, she wasn't all excited to see him anymore. Now she was calmer and noticed something off in his smile.

"So what's new," She asked casually.

Shikamaru shrugged and nibbled at his dango.

"Same old same old?"

"Pretty much."

Ino tilted her head, confused at Shikamaru. He would always talk to her above anyone else, "What's wrong?"

Shikamaru cringed. Do women have built in lie detectors? "Nothing, really. It's just that I have a lame mission-"

"Not with me then?"

"No, or Choji."

Ino smiled, thinking that it was shallow now, "Heaven forbid you two be separated."

Shikamaru mentally let out a sigh of relief, hoping to leave the conversation there. Ino was pretty good at making him talk about his problems, but this time he didn't necessarily want to.

"Yeah. I hate always going on missions away from you guys."

Ino smiled, "Me too. When does your mission start?"

"Tomorrow morning, I have to go."

Ino stood up, "Let's go get Choji and hang out before you have to go!"

"Do you know where he is?"

"No, but if we check all the buffets around the village, we'll run into him or his dad eventually!"

Shikamaru sighed. He didn't like the sound of searching the entire village for Choji, nor did he like Ino's comments on his eating habits, but she had a point. Where there is all you can eat food, there is Choji.

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After about ten minutes of searching, Choji was found walking out of his favorite restaurant, patting his stomach. Ino ran to him while Shikamaru walked casually, trying to force down the butterflies.

He caught up with Ino and smiled, "Hey Choji."

"Shikamaru! Guess what?"

"You beat the six plates challenge again?"

Choji laughed at the good natured joke, "Yes, but that's not it."

"Do I get another try?"

"Oh just tell us," Ino interjected, hoping that she'd get some good gossip material from her stuffed friend.

Choji smiled, "I got a mission with my dad!"

"Really?" Shikamaru had to admit, it was kind of surprising to see anyone so psyched about a mission, but then again Choji was full of surprises.

"What's so good about that?" Ino asked, as if she had the ability to voice Shikamaru's thoughts.

"Dad promised to take all of us out to eat out of his own wallet when we get back!"

Shikamaru's heart sank, but he didn't let it show in his voice, "How long is your mission going to be?"

_Please be a long mission, please, please, please! I don't want to spend time with that stupid priest instead of Choji!_Shikamaru thought.

"It should be about a month. We're just escorting someone. I'm not even sure what the big deal is, but dad's excited about having a mission with me."

Ino, again saying exactly what Shikamaru was thinking, "Shikamaru's going on a mission too. It's probably going to be longer than that-"

"Doesn't matter. Dad wants to take us all out to eat, so we can wait."

Shikamaru smiled, "Great."

"What's your mission anyways, Shika?" Choji asked.

Don't do that! Shikamaru thought, I can't lie to you, and I can't tell you!

"Choji," Ino reprimanded, "It's probably confidential."

Ino is like a creepy mind reader. I guess that's the benefit of having a girl as a best friend? Shikamaru wondered, and added, "Yeah. I don't think I should talk about it."

Choji waved it off, stuff like that happened all the time, "Alright. How long do you think it'll take?"

"I-indefinite," Shikamaru answered. He really had no idea, Ibiki didn't give too many specifics (which is arguably a good thing) and Shikamaru couldn't say anything for sure about the mission besides it was going to be horrible.

Choji nodded, "Well, I have to get back to my dad. He wants to go over the whole mission plan with me so I know what to do."

"You have to leave already?" Ino whined.

"I'd rather stay with you guys, but I really need to go," Choji answered.

Shikamaru didn't really know whether or not to be thankful. Choji was his favorite person to be around of all time, but right now he felt guilty and disgusting just by looking at him.

"You're right, Choji. Escorting missions are normally huge pains. See you when we're both done with our missions," Shikamaru said and smiled. "I have to go home and get ready for my mission too."

Ino smiled, even though she felt a little left out. She rarely took missions anymore, mainly she made her money by running the flower shop. Still she was always supportive of her friends. She took them all into a big hug, "See you guys later. I better get home before my mom realizes I took some money out of the cash register."

Shikamaru looked down to avoid seeing Choji anymore, guilt was killing him, "Yeah, my mom made dinner for me, so I better hurry home."

Choji sneaked another hug before Shikamaru ran off, "I'll be looking forward to seeing you again, Shika."

"Y-yeah," And with that, Shikamaru took off before Choji saw his blush.

Choji kicked the dust and walked back to his home.

"Why can't I just tell him?"

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Hey, lookie there. One day late, but you understand, right? It doesn't really matter because I suck at writing anyways, right?

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Note: The six plate challenge is a eating challenge at a local restaurant around where I live, where if you eat six (rather large) plates full of food in under forty-five minutes, you get all that food for free!


	5. Alone At Last

Yay, another chapter. I wonder if anyone even likes this story? It's kinda crappy, but I'll write it anyways.

Hope this isn't too horrible, because I actually had fun writing this chapter.

In any case, enjoy my silly little story please!

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Shikamaru wasn't happy when he woke up the next day, despite how perfect the previous had been. As far as he was concerned, the only good thing in his life now would be counting down the days until the end of this mission.

His parents weren't expecting to see him at all today, and honestly he didn't want to see them either, so he got his bag that he packed last night and left. Everything in Shikamaru told him to stay at home, quit being a shinobi and get a desk job or something, anything to avoid going on this mission. He only wished he had that option for him.

They need to invent a new word for how much of an injustice this whole ordeal is, Shikamaru though bitterly as he trudged slowly forward. In truth, he wasn't exactly sure where he was going, but chose to walk a little bit before he went to see the disturbing zealot who was certainly waiting for him.

Dawn was just breaking, the sky was a wonderful array of light pinks and blue. What used to give him a sense of peace, now just seemed to remind him where he was going and what he was doing. A heavy, uncomfortable feeling weighed on his gut, and he wondered when he'd be able to look at the sky again without that guilt.

He took out his mission details he received the preceding night. Gazing them over he found the building he was supposed to go (he hadn't worked up enough courage to look last night) and planned his route rather than wallowing in self pity any longer.

The new base for Shikamaru's mission was previously used as an office of sorts for dealing out missions, however it was left abandoned for the longest time after a newer building had been constructed. Since no one had any interest in the place, or any business even being around the it, the place was ideal for secrecy. A small mercy, but one that was appreciated none the less.

Shikamaru turned through the little booklet giving him everything he needed to know about the mission that he didn't even want to go on. He found the page for the mission summary, and it was anything but that. Someone apparently found the whole thing as sick as he did, and filled this part with technical terms and fluff. The real summarized version of things was still simple, however: do whatever is necessary to make Hidan spill every little bit of information he had about the Akatsuki. Then Shikamaru was allowed to run out of the place however he like, Hidan would be disposed of in whichever way seemed sensible, then life would (hopefully) go on for everyone just as it did before.

Pretty soon Shikamaru found himself at the edge of the village near his destination, not even realizing he'd been walking that long. He sighed and momentarily looked back over his shoulder, as if his body was giving one last thought to running back home.

Then what? Tell dad that my secret, oh so important mission was to exchange sex for information? That almost makes Hidan seem like the better option, Shikamaru thought before he finally knocked on the door to his new apartment. He didn't hear anything inside for a few minutes, and knocked again. He almost turned his tail and ran, but then Ibiki would just take it upon himself to be an escort back.

"Hey, asshole, this stuff is heavy! Are you going to open the door or would you rather I just go home?"

This time, there was a shuffle inside. Hidan was racing to the door and he quickly unlocked it.

"Thank Jashin. For a minute, I thought it was that bastard Ibiki," Hidan was grinning. He had lose pants and no shirt on, not to mention his hair looked like it hadn't been brushed that day and he smelled like he hadn't taken a bath or washed his clothes in the past few days, either.

Hidan stepped out of the way of the door to let Shikamaru in, and weary as he was, he took the invitation. Much to his surprise, Hidan didn't jump him right away, like he had last time they met.

Maybe that was a good sign? It was a bit too early to tell what was good and bad from Hidan just yet. The man was a little strange, and easy to say, deranged.

Shikamaru put his stuff down in the corner of the room that he walked into (which seemed to be a living room since it had a couch and T.V.), thinking that he could find a place to put his belongings after he memorized the floor plan of the place.

He turned around to see Hidan had laid down on the couch and he was flipping through channels. He glanced at Shikamaru, "There's a few rooms with beds. Go find yourself one."

_Is he schizophrenic?_ Shikamaru briefly doted on this thought before he figured that finding a room now was really as good a time as ever, especially since he was just invited to do so.

He took the few belongings that he decided to bring (clothes, worn out group picture of himself, Ino, Choji and Asuma, and a book even though he doubted he'd be able to lower his guard to enjoy reading it during his stay) and went to take a look around before Hidan started acting how Shikamaru expected him to.

It didn't take long for him to explore the entire building, seeing as it was rather small. The floor plan was also very simple. There were several small rooms that were probably used as offices before, and three bedrooms (one already taken by Hidan) that varied in size. There were about four bathrooms around the building, two sets labeled "Men" and two labeled "Women". There was a lobby that Hidan transformed into a living room and a large office that seemed to be used as a storeroom for furniture that used to be used here.

Shikamaru almost felt like he was in a hotel until he reached the storeroom. He wasn't exactly sure what Ibiki was thinking with all this, but if it weren't for the silver haired zealot in the other room, he wouldn't mind staying here for awhile. Maybe another small mercy, courtesy of Ibiki?

Regardless of the conditions, Shikamaru was still pretty sour about the whole ordeal, but he decided things could be worse. He focused on finding the second bedroom that he walked into, and settling in there.

There was no problem getting back to that room. It was easily Shikamaru's first choice since it was farther from Hidan's room (big plus in Shikamaru's book), and it had more furniture. There was a nice, little dresser with a television on top.

Deciding now was as good a time as any to put his things away, Shikamaru began to put away clothes in the dresser. He laid his book on the dresser and hid the photograph in the pocket that held his library card too (the last thing he wanted was for Hidan to find something personal like that).

What the hell am I doing? Shikamaru suddenly stopped and he began to realize that he was getting comfy in a place where Hidan was too! The very same man that killed his beloved sensei.

Shikamaru shook his head, confusing himself with his own thoughts. He knew that remembering just who he was under the same roof with could save him. At the same time it was just as true that being conscious of the fact could drive him insane.

Remember what he can do, Shikamaru. Not what he's done. Shikamaru told himself and took a deep breath. If this mission wasn't really important, you wouldn't be here. There's no changing it now, though. Just do your job and go home as quickly as you can.

Shikamaru's pep talk to himself did very little for his confidence, but he knew that there was no getting out of something like this. He just wanted to get out and on with his life, the best that he could, and that wouldn't happen any time soon if he didn't take this seriously.

He left with a little higher resolve, back to the living room. Hidan hadn't moved an inch since Shikamaru left to find a room. Despite his strange behavior (or was this normal for Hidan?), the dark haired nin was motivated to get a confession out of the other man and get back to his life.

"Hidan?" Shikamaru asked, his voice came out soft and maybe a little uncertain.

Hidan grunted to acknowledge that he heard the other, but didn't seem the least bit interested to hear what he had to say.

Already feeling defeated (so much for whatever resolve his inward pep talk gave earlier), Shikamaru didn't think talking to Hidan now would be of any advantage. He wasn't really good at handling situations so delicate, like interrogations. Especially not such a unique case where it's literally impossible to get an upper hand on the "victim."

Instead of continuing a, as far as Shikamaru was concerned, losing battle, he sat down on a chair next to the couch and relaxed back. Whatever Hidan was watching, it was obviously more interesting than Shikamaru was at the moment. Until it was over, he had no qualms with simply waiting for the show to end.

He was psychotic in the cave, but now he doesn't even care that I'm here, Shikamaru thought. The whole situation confused him to no end, and while he'd much rather be ignored by Hidan opposed to the alternative, there had to be a reason for him acting so radically different after just one day.

Maybe he's not in a hurry anymore?

Shikamaru shuttered at that thought. Maybe he would just leave well enough alone for the time being. More than likely, even if he spent an eternity with the immortal, he wouldn't get anything insightful on him.

The show that he was watching was obscure to Shikamaru, but to no surprise, it was about murder. It was called Dexter and Hidan seemed to be very into it. Shikamaru thought he probably would've liked it if he knew what was going on, seeing as it seemed pretty interesting, but he had no clue.

Hidan burst out laughing at several points where the intention was to make audience cringe, and that was far from surprising to the other nin in the room. When commercials came on, every time without fail, Hidan would get angry and mutter some curses toward cliff hangers but not so much as glance at Shikamaru. At points in the show where the intention was to tug at heartstrings, Hidan got even angrier. Normally he was mad at whomever caused Dexter any type of trouble, even if it was just a victim trying to escape.

Shikamaru found himself smiling at least twice when Hidan got so mad he got up and started screaming at the television. He probably would have been annoyed if he had any real intention of finding out what the show was even about, but in truth the premise so far for the show wasn't as nearly as entertaining Hidan's antics.

When the show finally ended, Hidan noticed Shikamaru on the chair. In all honesty, he thought that the other man would have gone to his room after the first time he got up to swear at the television. '"You're still here?"

"I live here now," Shikamaru said plainly. "You were even there when Ibiki gave me the order."

"No, still in here." Hidan stated bluntly. "I thought you would've up and left as soon as you realized that I was paying way more attention to the Dexter marathon than I was you."

"Why? This place is too small to run and I couldn't get my job done hiding from you."

"Job?" Hidan's interest was peaked by this, but Shikamaru scoffed.

"You don't think that they just sent me down here for the Hell of it, do you? Unless you're a complete moron, I would've thought you'd figure that much out yourself."

"What your fucking mouth!"

"Whatever." Shikamaru dismissed him. The whole conversation was way to natural when Shikamaru thought about it, way to easy. Like he'd known Hidan personally for any amount of time. It was kind of disturbing if any time was spent thinking about it that way, in Shikamaru's opinion.

Hidan, on the other hand, was kind of happy to have someone he not only was crazy about, but also able to talk to as if they were friends. He smiled and relaxed back onto the couch, and now that the marathon was over, he turned off the t.v. "So that bastard really sent you here?"

"I have a million other places that I'd rather be, Hidan. If I wasn't sent by someone I guarentee that I wouldn't be here instead of with Ino, or Choji," Shikamaru said plainly. "Or maybe I'd vist Asuma-sensei's grave."

The last comment was like a cheap shot to the gut. In all truth, Hidan didn't feel guilty in the least for torchering that man to death, but he didn't want to make Shikamaru overtly angry already. He settled for just not replying and letting an akward silence take over the air that had just a few seconds ago been friendly.

Shikamaru noticed Hidan didn't say anything back, and felt like a perfect as, "Sorry. I shouldn't have even said that. I'm going to be here awhile, and being a jerk about it won't help anything."

"Whatever."

"You hungery?"

Hidan blinked. Shikamaru, he didn't just try to be friendly, did he?

"Hey, I asked you a question."

"Yeah, if you want than that'd be alright."

"First though, I have another question."

Hidan tilted his head, "Yeah?"

"Why are you acting so different?"

The zealot smiled as if he hoped he would get asked this question, "Cause if I bang you up too bad, Ibiki's taking you off the mission. Plus, it's nice to have someone who'll actually talk to me, without threats every five seconds, like that old bastard I used to work with."

"I'm going to do my best to take that as a compliment," Shikamaru said as his eyes narrowed. He wasn't sure what to make of the whole Ibiki thing, because he highly doubted that the man was trying to protect him. He wasn't even sure what to make of anything so far, but if he just heard correctly, the silver haired bastard just said he was good company.

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Aw, they're starting to get along (kind of).


	6. Lovely Hatred

How I envy people who get paid for doing this sort of thing. They don't have to stop because of a lame ass menial job (or in my case, school full of pretentious cocksuckers whom I hate with every fiber of my being) they don't even want to go to so they can eat.

Boy, I sound like I'm in a pretty bad mood. I'm really just angry because I was thinking of someone who made me mad before I started writing, and what's worse I have to see her on Monday and pretend I don't want to skin her alive, then throw her in a lake of molten earth. Ever feel that way? Or is it just overt psychotic-ness? In any case, I don't want to go to school and see people who need to die in a hole as far away as physically possible.

Okay, I think I'm done whining here. I'll just go on with the story, and maybe you'll all get a hint of sadistic intent even more so than normal since I'm in such a bad mood. Enjoy~

* Note: In this version of things, to make my life easier, Hidan didn't get blown up and buried. He instead just got his ass handed to him on a silver platter and then somehow managed to escape, as well as Kakuzu because the old bastard had to be alive to sell out my beloved little silver haired religious freak.

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Shikamaru hadn't the foggiest idea how exactly he willingly offered to cook for a man whom he hated. It _would_ help him get his mind off things though, so he didn't mind too much. Being so close to Chouji motivated him to become a better cook and it was now a great stress reliever, even if it was Hidan who he was cooking for this time.

In no time, the zealot found himself drifting into the kitchen, allured by the scent of whatever Shikamaru was cooking. "I didn't know you could cook."

Shikamaru didn't like talking while he was cooking, mainly because it distracted him and he didn't want anything to burn. He especially didn't like talking to Hidan in general, so he didn't reply.

"Did I do something that's making you moodier than a teenage girl?"

"I just don't multitask well, Hidan," Shikamaru replied with the slightest tinge of annoyance lacing his voice.

The zealot was far from the type of person to read between the lines, and didn't really notice Shikamaru's frustration towards him. Instead he took what the dark haired man said just as it was, and sat down at the table, content with just watching.

Shikamaru was making a quick salt ramen, and had to admit he was a little nervous with an audience. Even though he asked not to be talked to, it was too awkward just having Hidan stare at him from across the room. Maybe a little flattering, but still awkward.

"Do we have any pork?" He asked just to get rid of the uncomfortable quiet.

Hidan, who looked as if he was just snapped out of a trance, got up, "Yeah. I think so anyways, it's in the pantry if we do."

Shikamaru didn't bother investigating the kitchen and a few closets around the place, so he wasn't even aware there was a pantry. He muttered a thanks to Hidan, and Hidan replied with a predictable, no problem.

In no time he came back, and laid the meat on the counter next to the stove, and went back to the kitchen table.

"Thanks," Shikamaru felt obligated to say again.

"It's the other way around, you're cooking for me after all."

A smile crept onto Shikamaru's face.

"What's so funny?"

"I just didn't know you knew how to be polite. It's kind of nice."

Hidan felt himself blush and look away, while Shikamaru continued cooking. In fifteen minutes the meal was put into separate bowls, and both were seated and getting ready to eat.

"It looks awesome," Hidan said with a broad smile.

"I cook for my friends all the time. "

Hidan was already digging into the food, eating it so fast Shikamaru wasn't sure how he was even tasting it. The same way Chouji tended to eat his food, like it was going to run away if he slowed for a single second.

No, that's just wrong! You don't compare this uncouth barbarian to Chouji! Not ever!

"Who taught you?" Hidan asked, mouth full of food.

"The library," Shikamaru replied, used to bad manners coming from his friends and most of the people he chose to keep as company.

Before Shikamaru had even touched his chopsticks, Hidan had finished the entire bowl.

It was almost cute, how he acted. Shikamaru but smile warmly, "Are you still hungry?"

"I'll get it," Hidan immediately said and got up, refilled his bowl and sat down, avoiding eye contact. Was he nervous?

Shikamaru ignored that though and finally picked up his chopsticks eating slowly. His mom was severe when it came to manners, and he just kept those habits from home anywhere he went.

Hidan ended up eating just as fast and got one more bowl, sufficiently draining the saucepan of all ramen.

"You're not still hungry, are you?" Shikamaru asked, a little surprised.

"No, but this stuff is really good," Hidan answered, scarfing down another bowl. "And you learned to make stuff like this from books?"

"Pretty much."

Hidan had to admit, he'd tried following recipes from books and it was harder than it sounded. He was messy and half the time he'd drop the book in a pan of sauce or accidentally spill something on the recipe. He wasn't self-taught genius kind of material when it came to those things. He was actually pretty impressed by the other man.

"Hey, Hidan," Shikamaru said so lowly that Hidan barely even heard him.

"What?" He asked, afraid that Shikamaru's random topic changes were going somewhere he wouldn't like.

"I probably should just leave well enough alone, but I want to ask."

Dammit. Here we go. I'm in trouble, Hidan thought bitterly.

"You said Ibiki told you _not_to hurt me, right?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't anyways, though. Even I need someone sane to talk to every once in awhile."

"Why exactly was it me he chose for this mission, seeing as you should have a personal vendetta against me?"

"Well, that's because..." Hidan trailed off and stuttered. He didn't want to flat out tell Shikamaru that he really had nothing against him, and that he actually got turned on by the fact the the other was strong enough to nearly kill him.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Maybe later. It's a long story."

"So that's a no?"

"Not permanent no. Just a, 'not right now because it's a pain to go through and I want to take a nap anyways', no."

"That means I'm going to ask you again," Shikamaru told him with a little grin, liking the sudden wittiness displayed by Hidan.

"I expect as much."

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Yay, happy birthday. You guys get bunches of chapters this weekend to make-up for my little hiatus. Including a lemon next chapter (well, sort of. You'll see what I mean later).

I would like if people sent me messages on this site telling me where they would like the story to go. That helps give me inspiration, even though I always come up with something when I'm left alone. I like new ideas that I probably wouldn't come up with, so anyone that just wants to throw something out there (or even just say hi) my in box is open to everyone. =3


	7. Waking Dream

I think I need help, I keep using these stupid, horribly abused chapter titles. Am I honestly that lazy? Wait... Don't answer that, I think I know the answer.

Anyways, please point out any mistakes, yada yada yada.

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Shikamaru and Hidan had no qualms with leaving the dishes for later, and both went to their respective rooms. Hidan to take his afternoon nap, and Shikamaru to settle down and think about the situation he was in.

On his way to his room, he walked past Hidan's and heard the snoring already. It wasn't loud and obnoxious, but he heard it easily since the door wasn't completely closed. He'd be a little amused if he wasn't so pissed off that he was here.

He reached his room and reclined on the bed, thinking deeply to himself.

Well, this isn't as bad as it could be.

But it's not great either. He countered his own initial thought.

It's better than I thought it would be. That's more than enough.

But now we can't see Chouji, or Ino, or even Mom and Dad for god knows how long! And what's up with this anyways? In the cave, Ibiki said he planned this. Hidan set this up!

Of course he set this up, but he's not trying to kill me. He's not trying to rape me either.

Yeah, not yet. But if he really wasn't interested in doing just that, then what was the whole thing back there in the cave about?

Well, that's what we were going to ask later. He's not in the mood to talk, and if we try and force him to talk about anything it just won't end up well. In fact, I don't even want to think about what he'll do if he's angry, with us out here all alone . He might not really care about what Ibiki says if he's mad.

That's true. But we need to know. If we don't find out, then it'll be like the elephant on the couch.

Bad analogy. We need to talk to him, I get it. I know. But he's not normal, so we can't approach him like we could a sane person.

Right. So how _do_ we approach him?

Let's get to know him first. Understand what he likes, dislikes. What pisses him off, what makes him calm. Then we can get inside his head and maybe even get what we need to know about the Akatsuki while we're at it.

I'm a genius.

Shikamaru chuckled at his own inward discussion. He learned that it was a good technique awhile back to solve difficult problems. He knew that everyone had a voice speaking logic and one speaking emotion, and if he listened to both of these, he always found a happy median.

Shikamaru picked up his remote and turned on his T.V. He couldn't confront Hidan until the he was ready to talk. Until then, he would turn on Comedy Central and pretend that it was Chouji who was in the other room. He would just watch his show and have fun until he had to be brought back to reality and see that at best, Chouji wouldn't be with him for several months.

Coming to terms with the whole situation would take awhile, and that was alright. Adjusting to something like this doesn't just happen overnight. Shikamaru knew that, and he would allow himself some leeway in deluding reality.

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Shikamaru, at some point closed his eyes to rest for a moment during commercials, and when he opened them he found himself in a completely different place than he had just been. A slow paced love song played in the background, and Shikamaru found himself laying on a large bed with an impossibly soft, dark red comforter. Heart shaped pillows just as soft lay scattered artfully on the bed, and dim lighting from several candles gave the room a soft and beautiful glow.

A neutral red colored canopy covered the bed, hiding two sides of the room from Shikamaru. The carpet in front of the bed he laid on was a warm pink color, with red rose petals sprinkled over it.

Everything around him smelled subtle and sweet, like roses. Soft warm colors like red and pink made up the room. It was a beautiful array of light, warm colors that were enough to make Shikamaru melt. Maybe Ino wasn't the only romantic.

He knew that this was a dream from the moment he seemed to have his senses return (partially return, anyways), and an escape from reality couldn't be more welcome at this point. He'd had this dream before, actually.

He was wearing absolutely nothing, and somehow felt comfortable and natural that way. The room held him in a warm embrace, making him cherish his imagination for coming up with something so beautiful. So perfect and romantic. Soon, Chouji came into the softly colored room, wearing nothing but a lose kimono. He crawled onto the bed, Shikamaru's breath hitched. He was aware of how everything would unfold. Every time he had this dream, it was slightly different, but all really the same.

"You look amazing, Shika." Chouji complimented huskily, and came closer to the smaller nin.

Shikamaru blushed and leaned towards Chouji, "I missed you."

"I missed you too. We shouldn't ever be apart."

Shikamaru couldn't agree more, "I love you."

"I love you too, Shika," Chouji replied.

Those words were like drugs to Shikamaru, despite him never actually hearing them. In his dreams, he relished them more than anything else.

Chouji smiled ever so slightly, and started everything by slipping out of the kimono. His hands came up to explore Shikamaru's flawless body. Even after having this dream an abundance of times, Shikamaru never failed to feel electrified by Chouji's imagined touches.

Shikamaru slowly laid back as Chouji willed him to, and he closed his eyes, relishing the attention.

"Why haven't we always been like this?" Chouji asked, strong lust lacing his voice as he paused briefly from going over Shikamaru's body.

"I have no idea," Shikamaru answered breathy and excited.

Chouji smiled as he licked over his favorite man's slender frame. He gently messaged Shikamaru's sides as he ghosted over other parts with his tongue.

The all too willing nin couldn't help but let out moans of encouragement, asking Chouji to keep going. Of course, stopping was the farthest thing from this dream Chouji's mind.

He slowly worked his way down. His hands got to Shikamaru's ass where he gave a firm squeeze, coaxing an adorably feminine yelp from the submissive man. Smiling again, Chouji continued teasing the other by messaging the tender flesh, and lightly nipping at his stomach.

Shikamaru was in nirvana, getting all the attention he could ever hope for from the man he'd been in love with for years upon years. He tightly gripped the bedsheets, to keep himself from falling off the edge so soon. Even if he knew it was a dream, he submerged himself in blissful ignorance and allowed himself to really believe that everything he felt was as real as he wanted it to be.

Chouji stopped for a moment, going to the bedside, moving the troublesome canopy and pulling out a bottle of clear gel from an elegant mahogany nightstand.

"What do you think Shika? Are you ready, or do you want me to play a little more?

"Anything you want," Shikamaru answered, knowing that this was a dream and Chouji wasn't actually Chouji. Getting caught up in the moment, especially with his secret crush, was just too easy despite it all being a fantasy.

The dark haired nin calmly laid, and closed his eyes, waiting for Chouji to start like he always did.

"Well, if I can do whatever I want..."

Shikamaru's eyes snapped open. That wasn't Chouji's voice.

Calloused hands, much different than Chouji's soft and gentle ones, took hold of Shikamaru's hips, as a deathly pale man leaned down and bite his shoulder hard enough to draw blood.

"I think that I'll be having a lot of fun tonight."

"H-hidan?" Shikamaru stuttered, confused and afraid about how his wonderful dream took a turn for the worse.

"Don't look so surprised. I've wanted to do this for such a long time," He said and began to lick up the blood slowly gathering on Shikamaru's shoulder.

"I-"

"Shh, don't talk. The only sounds I want to hear from you are low, pretty moans. Like the ones from before."

Shikamaru blushed furiously, cursing himself for ever allowing himself to moan when Hidan tried to take advantage of him.

The zealot took the bottle of lube and allowed a generous amount to fall on his fingers.

"What are you doing?" Shikamaru asked helplessly. He was trapped under the zealot and unfortunately knew exactly where this was going. The only thing he could hope for now was to wake up, and fast.

"That's simple," He answered lowly and let his hand go down to Shikamaru's waist. "Lift up your hips for me, Shika."

He blushed more and refused to comply.

Hidan didn't seem to be deterred, however. Instead, he took one of Shikamaru's legs and forced it over his shoulder, leaving the smaller nin perfectly and completely exposed.

He laced his finger around Shikamaru's virgin entrance, letting the tip of his index finger slide in then quickly remove itself.

It wasn't painful for the nin, the movement was so quick and subtle. Still, Shikamaru winced and tried to pull his leg off of Hidan. He failed, however, and just pulled Hidan closer.

The zealot smiled, "Don't get impatient on me."

"Fuck you."

"I'm working on it."

Shikamaru glared, and Hidan replied simply with a grin. He circled around Shikamaru's entrance again and this time allowed his forefinger to go all the way in, making the younger man try to pull away from the offending digit.

Hidan smiled at the adorable look on his lovely victims face, red and flustered. He looked like he was in serious pain, despite it only being one slim finger. The silver haired man couldn't help but relish the expression, and at the same time giving Shikamaru time to adjust.

"You look beautiful," Hidan mumbled.

"Shut up, bastard!"

"Aren't you being a little rude?"

Shikamaru was too distracted by the pain to glare again at the zealot raping him now. He was more focused on adjusting to the feeling. But dammit, he still wanted his gentle Chouji back instead of the insensitive brute that was here now!

Hidan let his free hand ghost ever so slightly down Shikamaru's side, making the man shiver slightly. He grabbed onto Shikamaru's thigh and held it upwards a little more to allow better access. He slowly moved his finger in and out, stretching Shikamaru slightly before adding another finger.

The Konoha nin reacted more violently to this one, trying his best to pull away. Hidan had a good hold of him, however, and didn't let him gain an inch. Instead he continued at a slow pace. He was getting turned on immensely by the pained expressions shown by the beautiful man beneath him.

"Stop!" Shikamaru practically sobbed, "Just stop!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because it fucking hurts!"

"I'm being so gentle though," Hidan answered, amused.

"Well, if you're so fucking intent on this, at least give me some time!"

"I'm not a patient person, Shika."

"I don't care what kind of person you are! You took Chouji away and I'll be damned if I'm just going to let you pound into me, bastard!"

Luckily, it was Shikamaru's dream. He still had some control of the situation. Hidan, for reasons unknown to the dreamed up figure, stopped moving entirely. He waited for Shikamaru to tell him when he was ready.

Taking a deep breath, Shikamaru nodded for Hidan to move. That was mainly because the sensation of him just being still was even more painful than if he moved a little bit.

Taking it slower now, Hidan began scissoring his fingers, paying close attention to how the boy underneath him was reacting. He added another finger and Shikamaru didn't even notice, or if he did, he wasn't as hurt by the intrusion.

"You know, boys shouldn't be allowed to be as pretty as you are."

"Shut up already."

"That was meant as a compliment."

"I don't care what you meant it as, I don't like being reminded that this is you doing this, dumb ass."

"Whatever," Hidan answered non-nonchalantly. "Are you ready?"

"It's not like you'd stop even if I said no."

"I won't do it until you say you're ready, promise."

"But you're going to do it at some point. I'd rather get this over with. I never wake up until the whole thing is over, anyways."

Hidan wasn't discouraged by Shikamaru's words. He brought the teenager into a sitting position, still keeping his legs spread, and kissed him passionately. Being distracted by the kiss, Shikamaru barely felt the Hidan's throbbing member poking his entrance.

Hidan mumbled something about relaxing to Shikamaru before he slid his head in. Somehow, it didn't hurt as bad as Shikamaru expected. The kiss effectively distracted him enough to not jump away from it, like he expected from himself.

Hidan asserted total dominance in the kiss, forcing his tongue inside Shikamaru's mouth. He held tightly onto the teen's slim waist as he slowly pushed himself all the way in. He felt Shikamaru raise his arms to hold on tightly to his back, and when the pain became too great for the boy he started kissing back with some force. His nails dug into pale skin and he tried to pull away slightly.

Just as before, Hidan kept Shikamaru all the way down, but allowed him to adjust before he started moving. Shikamaru hadn't ever felt anyone so big, not even in his dreams with Chouji. It was a little surprising to the dark haired nin that his dreams would allow him to feel this pain.

Shikamaru moaned into the kiss, "Move, slow." He breathed out.

Hidan complied, moving at a painfully slow pace for himself, wanting so badly to go faster. In almost no time, he hit a spot that made Shikamaru cry out.

"Oh god! Hidan!" He shouted, digging his nails farther into the albino's back.

Hidan grinned and got the hint. He set a new pace, much faster. Shikamaru started thrusting back, and moaning out Hidan's name over and over...

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"Shikamaru? Shikamaru!" Hidan repeated, trying to wake the younger boy. "Shikamaru, are you alright?"

"H-hidan?" Shikamaru practically snapped up.

"What the hell was that about?"

Shikamaru blushed, "You heard me?"

"From all the way in my room."

Shikamaru's blush deepened, "Get out of my room while I'm sleeping!" He shouted and started throwing pillows, clocks, anything within arm's reach. Hidan ran out of the room, beyond confused with the entire situation.

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Yay, I'm done. That was the worst lemon I've ever written. So... Not detailed and boring, because it only has Shikamaru's point of view. Not even worth reading. I'm so sorry. T~T


	8. Almost Totally

Grr... Writers block in addition to my normal laziness made this take a little too long. I was literally just sitting at my computer playing Thing Thing Arena 3 for hours while thinking about this story. I kept dying after around killing 3,000 people so it was very frustrating for me.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this because I'm going back to playing mindless video games the way they were intended to be played (while not thinking about anything else but killing, shooting, gibing, etc!).

Also, I didn't really edit this properly. That's a task for another day, as far as I'm concerned.

Point out any mistakes and I'll get to them later. Maybe.

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Hidan waited in the living room for Shikamaru to come out, holding an ice pack to the side of his head, where an alarm clock nailed him. It was frustrating to no end (even more so than getting attacked for no reason) that the other nin was trying to lock himself in his room and pretend nothing happened. Hidan knew though, he wasn't a total idiot, and he wanted to tell Shikamaru to relax. He still wasn't going to come from no where and rape him or something.

He wondered briefly if Shikamaru was beating himself up about it? More than likely the answer was yes.

Hidan, even as he sat and thought, had no idea what Shikamaru was doing in his room. He imagined that it would stay that way for awhile, too. He didn't hear Shikamaru in some time, but doubted very seriously that he just went back to sleep after what happened.

"Fucking fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck!" Hidan yelled out and ruffled his hair. "What the hell does he think moping in his room is going to fucking fix?"

Shikamaru jumped when he heard Hidan in the other room, but didn't get up. For some reason, a overtly violent zealot cursing out loud didn't make the boy want to go check on him. In reality, he knew that prolonging the inevitability of leaving his room wouldn't do anyone any good, but a human (illogical, emotional) part of him made him want to ignore this. Just as anyone else might, he wanted to sit and pretend that nothing happened until it blew up in his face, or really just went away due to lack of interest after awhile.

However strange and unlikely this was, Shikamaru had no problem with entertaining another fantasy, for a little while. At least until he could force himself to calm down enough to rationally think about the ditch he dug himself into.

Hidan wasn't someone who let go of things easily, though. Shikamaru knew that too well, just by seeing his general stubbornness in everything else he did. Him forgetting what he saw for any reason was unlikely and only going to happen if something else caught his attention to such an extent that he would be bored of Shikamaru. Even that would only make Hidan forget for a short period of time, however.

No permanent fixes were available to the Konoha nin, and on some subconscious level, that was acknowledged. Openly, however, that was unacceptable and just couldn't be seen in open light yet.

Instead, thinking about what was important would have to be put off until Shikamaru was calm enough to think rationally. Right now, he would entertain himself with trivialities and more fantasies. Since when, after all, was anyone really able to confront and fix the problem that's hurting them in the first place so soon? It was human and natural to ignore it for as long as possible, no matter how rational and intelligent you fancied yourself to be. This behavior was especially prevalent when emotions ran high, like they were currently.

Shikamaru was now smart enough to not go back to sleep, where his dreams and his body could easily betray him. He rather thought of what it would be like to be back in the Yamanaka flower shop, talking to Ino about the day, the weather, her boyfriend for the week. Whatever caught their fancy to speak of for a little bit, until her father came in to take her for training, or her mother reprimanded her casual chit-chat during work.

Even that had it's pitfalls, unfortunately. Thinking about his friend reminded him of his last day before the mission when she had told him about the white roses that bastard Ibiki got earlier.

What the hell would Ibiki be doing with roses? Somehow, Shikamaru didn't think it had anything to do with himself or Hidan. He was still curious though. Ino was probably right, Ibiki wasn't the romantic type. Besides, red roses were for a lover, white roses were for graves and stuff like that.

Was it unhealthy for Ibiki to be his main source of distraction during the mission he assigned in the first place? More than likely, yes. But what was unhealthy or not never really concerned Shikamaru anyways. He wondered about what confused him, he thought about what intrigued him, and he never let any topic be off limits in his own mind unless he really didn't want to think about it.

Maybe Ibiki actually had loved ones too? He's pretty screwed up, so it's always possible he lost family or even spouses. Maybe he went to the 3rd Hokage's grave to ask the old man if he was going to Hell for what he had just done? Anything's possible for an odd ball like Ibiki. Shikamaru wasn't worried so much as just idly curious, distracting himself from his situation as much as possible.

Sighing, Shikamaru mentally scolded himself for being so immature that he couldn't even allow himself to rationally just _think_ about what kind of shit he got himself into. It was just frustrating as hell that he was actually dreaming about the jerk whom he thought he hated. Whom he rightfully should hate, after all that happened between them so far.

So why didn't he hate Hidan with every ounce of his being, and why did his mind allow Hidan to take Chouji's position with such ease? It didn't make a ton of sense to Shikamaru, even though he refused to examine it from very many angles seeing as he didn't want to risk seeing it in a positive, explanatory light. He wanted to call it a nightmare and move on with life the best he could for someone in his position.

But it wasn't a nightmare. It couldn't even be honestly described as something totally and utterly unpleasant. That was far from the truth, even though it wasn't a choice situation for the young nin, it was kind of hot. Being submissive to a stronger, older, aggressive man who was better in his dreams than he ever though of Chouji being.

Great! Now positive thoughts about Hidan were even sneaking their way into Shikamaru's mind consciously as well as in his dreams. Why not go out and fuck him for real right now?

It was so unthinkable to be in a situation so completely and utterly impossible-

Shikamaru was in the middle of brooding and complaining mentally when an impatient and quick rasping came at his door.

"Shikamaru!" Hidan yelled at the other side of the dark haired man's door, obviously as agitated (if not, even more so than) Shikamaru at the present circumstance.

"What do you want?" Shikamaru asked, wishing that at least one of them could be in a good mood before they talked. It was obviously not to be, seeing as both of them were ready to kill the other if the opportunity arose.

"We need to talk!"

"About what?" Shikamaru bluffed.

"You know what. I swear to Jashin I will kick down this fucking door and drag you out-"

"It's not locked, dumb ass." Shikamaru pointed out coldly, and with some difficulty, mumbled, "You can come in, if you want."

As if by super human hearing, Hidan somehow heard the others low and unenthusiastic invitation and took it, coming into the room. He wasn't all smiles, but he was kind of happy that he actually got asked to come inside rather than forcing his way through everything.

"Listen, I'm sorry that I sounded so mad," Hidan began, as if he was actually sorry for that. In reality, he was almost always mad at something and he never really felt the need to apologize for his emotions. This time, he felt obligated seeing as Shikamaru seemed upset already.

"It's fine. I should be apologizing for..." Shikamaru trailed off, "For earlier."

"That's not what I wanted to talk about. Shit happens, and you were asleep, it's not like you can control your dreams."

Shikamaru, not feeling the need to explain he was a lucid dreamer and almost always had control of his dreams, just nodded. He was a little curious to see why Hidan had been so frustrated if it wasn't about what happen earlier. Not to say that he wouldn't rather Hidan just leave, or better yet, never have come in the room in the first place. Nothing seemed to be going Shikamaru's way, though. Why would Karma see any reason too be merciful now, anyways?

"Listen," Hidan began sternly. He seemed serious and looked as if he was actually trying to say something as delicately as possible. Strange for someone so abrasive, but not unwelcome, "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to do a repeat of the time we met in the cave either."

These words must have been foreign for Hidan, because they looked as if they had to be painfully forced out and much practiced beforehand. Still, Shikamaru couldn't help but think they were at least a little bit sincere (or why would Hidan bother coming in to say them?). Shikamaru studied his expression thoroughly, as if looking for a crack in a mask, but found none. He felt obligated to make sure he heard the zealot correctly, "Did you just say what I think I heard you just say?"

While that phrase might have made Hidan mad, knowing the circumstances of the situation and how much Shikamaru must be going through, he found it a little endearing. Cute, even. He smiled fondly, "Yes. You did. I'm not repeating any of it though. I'm not used to the mushy shit."

"I didn't take you to be."

"Good. Keep your idea of me the way it is, cause I'm not going to go out of my way to be nice to you," Hidan answered, more teasing Shikamaru than being mean. "Got it?"

Shikamaru felt a spark of mischievousness, kind of like a feeling you would get when you want to mess with one of your friends. "You know, it looks like you're going out of your way to be nice to me right now."

Hidan smiled, "Good to see you're in a good enough mood to joke around now."

Somehow, Shikamaru felt like he was talking to an old friend rather than an enemy in all of his conversations with Hidan. A part of his mind reminded him, of course, who exactly he was dealing with. This little part in the recesses of his conscious was always telling him to be cold and distant towards the zealot.

It was almost unfair, Shikamaru thought, that Hidan fell in the category of an enemy. He did something absolutely unforgivable, killing Asuma, but if they met at another time in another place. Somewhere that a friendship between them wouldn't be a taboo, then they could have easily been close companions. And if Chouji wasn't in any part of the equation, something more.

"Hidan?" Shikamaru asked, suddenly interrupting his own thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Why _are_ you going out of your way to be nice to me?"

"Because I don't hate you," He answered softly. Something that he almost didn't want to admit, but desperately wanted to be made known. His religion required him to hate infidels, so it was strange for him to say he didn't hate someone who was ignorant of his beliefs. It was also refreshing.

That one simple sentence had a big impact on both of them, seeing as Shikamaru could just tell that Hidan wasn't bull shitting. Shikamaru always believed that Hidan hated him as much as he seemed to hate everything else that had a pulse. He believed he was here because Hidan was attracted to him. Lust. That's all that could be accounted for in the problem, as far as Shikamaru was concerned, up until now of course.

Shikamaru bit his lip, but didn't say anything. He didn't feel the need to look for any signs of lying on Hidan's face. This time, he just knew for certain what he heard was the truth of the matter. A pleasant truth that finally revealed itself after the past three days (that seemed to just go on for millennia) in a hell of confusion.

"Listen, I know you don't think of me as a nice person, but-"

"Thanks, Hidan," Shikamaru interrupted. He smiled to show he believed the other was genuine.

"Yeah. I guess you want me to leave you alone now?"

"Nah," Shikamaru got up off his bed. Somehow, he didn't even feel awkward about earlier. Like the talk had completely brushed the subject under the rug, and he felt no need to so much as think about it anymore (except maybe to avoid it happening in the future). "What do you want for dinner?"

"Geez, you're as scatterbrained as I am. One minute we were having a meaningful little talk and the next you're up and asking about food!"

Shikamaru looked at Hidan on the bed and gave him a hug, "Thanks, it meant a lot."


	9. Honest Liar

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Hidan, prolonged the hug as much as he felt he could get away with. Having Shikamaru stay there, without even trying to pull away, was almost too good to be true. He knew that he was doing something right in the relationship, for Shikamaru not to put up a fight. It made Hidan inwardly smile, to be able to hold the man who he'd been attracted to for so long.

Shikamaru was completely relaxed in Hidan's arms. Somehow, despite their history and the fact that Hidan displayed so many dangerous attributes, he felt completely safe in his arms.

"I guess I should go start on dinner."

Was that a blush on his face? Hidan wondered. No, Shikamaru wouldn't blush... Would he?

"Yeah. I have to go pray," Hidan quickly excused himself from the room. The encounter there was so chaste, so innocent, compared to some of their prior confrontations, but it was one hundred times harder.

Why do relationships have to be so _difficult?_

Hidan quickly went to his room after he excused himself from Shikamaru. He just couldn't stand mushy moments, even with someone that he really liked. They made him feel...Vulnerable.

He slammed his door shut, and went about getting his things ready for a ritual. He pulled out some chalk and a scared knife (that Ibiki let him keep as long as the only blood that touched the knife was his own), and begun.

A circle was quickly drawn, then the knife pierced his heart. Without the adrenaline of a battle, the injury wasn't particularly enjoyable. Hidan was used to this feeling though, so much so that he barely noticed the pain any longer. He calmly laid on the ground and closed his eyes.

It wasn't unusual for Hidan to fall asleep in this position because of blood loss, seeing as Jashin only sometimes came to converse with him. That was fine on most occasions, but Hidan knew he wouldn't be able to think straight if he didn't speak to his master, and soon.

Luckily for Hidan, his God was an all powerful being, and today wanted to talk to his favorite follower. The room became cold as a being begun to materialize before the circle, as the blood that had been pooling was absorbed by shadows to support the new member in the room.

The more blood taken in, the more real Jashin appeared to be. Eventually he became a solid object. He appeared very unassuming, a featureless black apparition, with a curious mask to substitute for a face. If Hidan didn't know any better, he would have believed Jashin to simply be a man under a robe.

"Hidan, why did you call me to this ugly place?" Jashin asked lowly. The room was much colder now, Jashin was draining energy from both the blood of his follower and the air itself to give himself a tangible body. His stay would not be long.

"Shikamaru," Was Hidan's answer.

"The dark haired one. From this village?"

"Yeah."

"He should be quite fond of you by now. There's nothing wrong, is there?"

"Well, I want to know what you did."

"I made him confused. That's all I could do, without risking destroying his mind," Jashin answered. "In fact, I'm pushing that possibility as it is. I hope you don't want more of me."

Hidan, afraid of offending his master, quickly bowed. "It's not that at all."

"Then what? I can only spend so much time on this festering ball of dirt," Jashin answered.

"I want to do this myself, but it's difficult."

"More so that doing my bidding all these years?"

"Yes, Jashin-sama," Hidan answered, "There's no one instructing me for this."

"You don't need instructions. Just use your instincts. If you mess up, I'll fix it," Jashin's low, rumbling voice answered. He seemed to be fading already.

Hidan took his knife and made another deep wound. Jashin's fading image absorbed the blood before it even dripped to the floor, and became more solid.

"I'm sorry, Jashin-sama, it's just that I-"

"I don't need your apologies. This is a rare treat that I don't just give to anyone," Jashin replied sternly. "Now, because you destroyed that bastard Mandara, and his infidel organization, or at least did something to ensure their destruction, I'm giving you something in return.

"I haven't the foggiest idea how you humans conduct courtship. Nor do I care. You can figure that out, or just proceed to do whatever you want to him. It doesn't concern me."

"Alright. Thank you, Jashin-sama."

Somehow, the mask that took the place of a face for Jashin was warped into a smile, as he began to fade once again. "Enjoy your gift while you have time, Hidan. I'm afraid that I have to go now, before the ugliness of this wretched place makes an imprint on me."

Hidan bowed his head as the God slowly left the room. Once Jashin had left completely, the zealot felt warmth returning to his body and to the room itself. He knew Shikamaru wouldn't be finished with his cooking yet, so he decided to dress the wound before leaving.

The biting temperature made the blood clot and while the encounter was too brief for the liquid to begin freezing, it was still painfully cold. The quickly returning heat began to make Hidan dizzy while he was trying to find a bit of cloth to clean his wound. He collapsed due to extensive blood loss and confusion.

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While cooking wasn't really his favorite thing to do, Shikamaru found himself being at ease while making dinner for Hidan and himself. Focusing on something besides the horrible state of his situation was extremely refreshing for the Konoha nin. The room had a hypnotic humming of various appliances that set a pleasant pace.

In no time the room filled with the great smell of udon, while Shikamaru found activities to busy himself while the dish simmered. He expected Hidan to come in any minute, allured by the smell of the food (like the first time when he cooked), but instead he didn't hear a single sound come from the masochist's room.

Does praying always take so long for Jashinist, Shikamaru wondered.

It wasn't really any of his business, but he had been idly curious about Hidan's religion for a long time now. It was forbidden to practice in practically every village, for good reason, but that only fueled Shikamaru's desire to learn more about it.

If Hidan didn't come out by the time the udon is done, Shikamaru thought, I'll go check on him. It couldn't do too much harm, could it?

Shikamaru wondered if Hidan would tell him anything about his religion, or if he'd have to go through some crazy initiation before he was allowed to even hear about it. His curiosity probably wouldn't be enough to put him through too much torcher, whether that's literally of figuratively, but nothing short of threats and violence could stop him from at least asking.

It was so strange that he found himself willing to go and ask the masochist who was also supposed to be his enemy for a conversation, but at the same time it felt natural. Shikamaru figured this was a dangerous mentality for him to have, but then again, he was going to be here for awhile. Creating a bond with Hidan may be uncomfortable but it was his mission.

The noodles for the udon began to simmer lightly, and Shikamaru jumped back to reality. He had no idea he had been lost in his thoughts for any real amount of time. He took the meat and vegetables that had been set aside after they were cooked to his liking and added them to the nearly done noodles and turned the heat up to a rolling boil.

He set a timer for ten minutes, so his thoughts didn't distract him so much that the food might scold. He would have preferred to stay idle and not be swallowed by thoughts, but in a situation were his mind was in such turmoil, he simply couldn't stop thinking.

He sat down and tried to clear his mind just for a minute and listen for Hidan again. For some reason, not hearing the man made Shikamaru uneasy. Praying could be silent in his religion, sure, but there wasn't a single scuttle or bump coming from the bedroom. It hadn't been more than forty-five minutes, but that seemed like too long to hear anything from the other room.

The wait for the udon, which he feared would go to fast because of his over-active thoughts, was now unbearably slow and agonizing. He didn't want to leave before the udon finished, because then he wouldn't really have an excuse for seeing Hidan while he was praying. Hidan also didn't seem like the type to appreciate someone just "checking in" while he was busy praying, either.

On a not-so-important note, the udon would also cook too long if he went to see Hidan while there were only ten minutes left to wait. Shikamaru made a mental note to learn a little more about the Jashinist and his habits so he would know when to worry and what was "normal." In any case, he really felt like he should stay in the kitchen just a bit longer.

And then there was that suppressed feeling that made him worry in the first place, that was loud in demanding to see Hidan immediately.

Shikamaru tried to reason against his own thoughts, however. He glanced at the timer, it read six more minutes to wait. What could happen to Hidan, an immortal S-ranked shinobi, in just six minutes, right down the hall? Besides, he's probably the most devoutly religious person that we'll ever meet. Praying could take days for him, who knows?

But there's a gut feeling saying that's something's wrong, and that should be enough to at least go check on the guy! Just turn the stove off and tell him it's dinner time.

Shikamaru gave into his own mental argument. He was worried about Hidan for some inexplicable reason and felt he may as well go check on him now.

The timer read four minutes left.

Shikamaru got up to check on the udon. It looked done enough for him. He turned the heat down to warm, reset the timer, and walked briskly to Hidan's bedroom. He put his ear to the door to listen for any sounds. It was surprisingly cool. He pulled his head away and knocked on the door, "Hidan, dinner's going to get cold if you don't finish up."

No answer.

He knocked again, "I made some really good udon. Are you still praying?"

Not so much as a sound came from the room.

Shikamaru went to open the door, when the it creaked open by itself before he even touched the knob.

The room was rather cool towards the walls, enough to make a light breeze all by itself inside. Hidan was lying on the ground unconscious next to his bed. A puddle of blood gathered under him, and a red knife laid next to his unclenched hand.

"Hidan!" Shikamaru ran to his side, cursing himself for waiting a single minute after he the feeling something was wrong.

The wounded man's body was faintly warm, but his pulse was so and he was still bleeding slightly. While Shikamaru couldn't fully explain why he cared so much that Hidan had an injury, he was at the verge of hysterics.

He took a deep breath and analyzed Hidan from head to toe. The wound was self-inflected. It was deep, but that wasn't necessarily a problem for somebody who couldn't die from any type of physical injury. His slow pulse was probably because of the cool temperature of the floor and walls, and Shikamaru was just thankful that it wasn't the other way around.

The mixture of severely cold and warm temperatures would normally lead to a heart attack, but Hidan seemed to be suffering strictly from hypothermia. Even with his very limited medical skills, Shikamaru felt confident that he could help Hidan by himself. Wondering how Hidan's praying time ended in this would be for a later time. He carefully cleaned the wound and took him to the living room where the air was warmer.

Shikamaru then proceeded to bandage the wound, then put a warm shirt over the exposed man. Really, the situation was confusing. Shikamaru couldn't determine how bad the case of hypothermia was, but he knew that blankets and contact from other humans, to transfer body heat, were some of the best methods to treat the condition. He wrapped Hidan in some spare blankets he found in the closet and stayed by his side, refusing to call what he was doing cuddling, but rather helping the unfortunate man.

Once Shikamaru heard Hidan's heart picking up speed to a normal pace, he considered trying to wake him again, but then dismissed the idea. When Hidan wasn't being loud and annoying, he was actually kind of pleasant to be around. Shikamaru smiled and laid his head against Hidan's shoulder.

The udon's pleasant scent floated into the living room and reminded Shikamaru about dinner. He tried to wake up Hidan, now that he was finished enjoying the quiet time without worrying or thinking now. Hidan woke up slowly, as if he was in a haze (which he probably was) and muttered something incoherent.

He looks so different when he sleeps, Shikamaru noted. He looked like he might have been capable of being a decent human being, not really saintly, but just maybe a little bit sane while he was asleep. As soon as he woke up, his abnormal colored eyes and smug expression showed all those previous assumptions to be nothing but wishful thinking.

He didn't take long to analyze his situation before he became completely confused and started to ask questions. "Uh, Shika? Why exactly am I lying on the floor with you?"

"Because you scared my half to death, you insensitive jerk!" Shikamaru yelled and got up instantly, trying to hide his blush. "What happened?"

"What do you mean 'What happened'? I was praying." Hidan answered casually.

"You were laying on the ground bleeding and freezing!" Shikamaru shot back.

"Oh, was I?"

"Don't take things like that so casually! I was worried about you!"

"You know I'm immortal, though, right?"

Shikamaru couldn't really explain his worry, but it made him angry that Hidan took it so casually while he had a mini-heart attack when he saw Hidan on the floor. "Well, excuse me for actually caring about you."

"It's not like that, I just-"

"I don't want to hear it. Dinner's ready," Shikamaru said sternly and walked off into the kitchen.

Why does he have to be such a drama queen? Hidan wondered as he got up. He felt a pain in his chest and noticed that Shikamaru had skillfully bandaged his wound. Without the care that he put into patching the injuries up, Hidan noticed, the pain would have been a lot worse.

And now _I_ look like the asshole, Hidan thought bitterly and made his way into the kitchen, following Shikamaru.

Note: Jashin doesn't want non-believing mortals to hear his conversations, so that's why Shikamaru didn't hear them talking and he missed the sound of Hidan falling because Jashin still had the room "muted" for a bit.


	10. Well Balanced Insanity

Hello all.

I just wanted to establish how often I'm going to be updating.

I should get one out every eight days.

If I don't from now on, I'll always make them up somehow, unless I tell you I'm taking a break for holidays or something.

Enjoy my story

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Hidan was pissed. No, that was an understatement, he was ready to kill something with his bare hands. Shikamaru would be the victim if something didn't happen in Hidan's favor soon, too.

Somehow, the ball didn't fall into Hidan's court the way he wanted to. He was supposed to be able to manipulate people easily, it was one of the perks of being a psychopath. Shikamaru, by some means, was even better at the game that Hidan practically invented.

Hidan, just as always, was supposed to come out on top. He was supposed to make Shikamaru feel stupid for getting so worked up over practically nothing. Instead, Shikamaru made him out to be the asshole. For someone in god's favor, Hidan was having a horrible time of making it by without nearly killing himself and everyone else.

True, maybe thinking about Shikamaru being in the house with him should have given him some sort of hint to tone down on the gory, violent aspects of his religion. True any person with any bit of attachment to another (let alone divine intervention forcing someone to like a person) would go off the handle when they saw whomever badly injured and sick. But if all the things were true because of the fear of losing a life, then it was also true that none of these extreme reactions should have to be applied to an immortal like Hidan.

_So why wasn't it easy to turn the situation around and make Shikamaru look like an over-reacting whiner?_

Oh well, Hidan sighed, it was nothing for him to get all worked up about. He simply got up and went to the kitchen. He was now more concerned with the a certain angst ridden teenager who was sitting at the kitchen table with a dark cloud forming above him.

Hidan knew this would be an absolute pain in the ass unless Shikamaru went through moods quickly, but there wasn't really anything to do. Well, besides apologize, but that wasn't going to happen. Hidan went ahead and got a bowl of udon, then found a seat across from Shikamaru.

Thankfully Shikamaru was too worried about Hidan to stay mad for very long. He just waited for the immortal to start a conversation, because he always did.

In no time, or rather right after Hidan inhaled the first bowl of udon, he smiled brightly at Shikamaru, "This is even better than what you made for lunch."

"Glad you think so," Shikamaru answered.

"How come you learned to cook?"

"What do you mean?"

Hidan got up for another bowl, and answered while he poured some of the udon into a bowl, "'Cause normally moms cook. Doesn't yours?"

"Yeah, she's a good cook, but I mainly learned to impress some friends."

"Remind me to thank these friends of yours, Shika," Hidan smiled lightly. He normally wouldn't bother with small talk, or bonding. Somehow though, Shikamaru was entertaining to him, even with just trivial things like what they were talking about now.

"Yeah. So, I'm guessing you didn't eat very well before."

"What makes you think that?"

"Since you eat everything like it's the last morsel of food you'll ever see."

"Well, I guess."

"How come you don't want to talk about yourself?"

"Because my life is full of death, torture, pain and anguish. I heard these things aren't good dinner conversation. Maybe some other time, if you actually want to hear about it," Hidan suppressed amusement as he saw Shikamaru shift uncomfortably.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be pushy."

"It's alright. Besides, this is your sharing time. I want to know about you, Shikamaru."

"You sound almost serious about that."

"Almost? I _am_serious. For whatever reason, I think you're pretty fucking interesting and I'd rather hear about you than talk about myself."

The younger nin smiled fondly, "Well, what else do you want me to talk about."

"Your lovers."

Shikamaru's face went deep red. He was happy that he had all he had wanted from the udon that he made, because now he was sure he would have a knotted stomach for awhile. "So you're concerned about dinner conversation and you come up with that out of no where?"

"I'm done now," Hidan smirked. "So, are you going to tell me or am I going to have to find a way to make you tell me."

"Let's not be hasty."

"Not torture, I'm not interested in that unless I have weapons at my disposal. It's not as fun."

Shikamaru gulped, "I'm guessing that's a good thing for me. I guess it can't really hurt the situation any more than it already has been." Somehow, it was easy to feel relaxed around Hidan, even if he should be disturbed by what was just said. "I've never really had a boyfriend-"

"You're gay?" Hidan asked in disbelief. Sure, he was bisexual, and wasn't upset at all that Shikamaru was into guys, but it surprised the hell out of him. Shikamaru was only able to tell him because he felt he wouldn't get that reaction. Oh well...

"Do you need everything spelled out for you? Besides, if you stop me while I'm in the middle of talking, I won't finish."

"Fine, fine. Sorry."

"Whatever. Anyways, I've had a crush for awhile, but I don't think he's even interested in guys."

"What harm could it do to at least ask."

Shikamaru felt his blush deepen, just as it did every time he even thought of asking Chouji anything romantic, "Because. We're really good friends and it would just be awkward. Besides, if he's not then he might not want to even hang out with me anymore."

Hidan smiled, and said in a low, seductive tone, "You know, you can turn straight men gay if you have the experience. Especially since you're so fucking hot."

"But, I don't have the experience. I don't even have a clue about how to ask someone anything like that, let alone try and build up any sort of expertise in that stuff!"

"It would make this guy, whoever he is, be more likely to like you too."

"I always thought of saving myself for him."

"Is that what you really want Shika?" Hidan coaxed.

"You don't honestly think that I'm going to go to bed with you just because you say it'll make Chouji like me!"

"Wait! You're talking about that fat guy that clears all the buffets in the entire village before bed? That Chouji?"

Shikamaru didn't know why, but he didn't like Hidan saying Chouji's name. He wished he'd never had let the name slip off his tongue to tell Hidan anything about him.

"Don't talk about Chouji that way!"

"Sorry, sorry. I just didn't expect you to be after someone so..."

"Don't even begin saying anything bad about him."

"Right, right. Well, I can almost guarantee you that Chouji's a virgin, so at least one of you is going to need some sort of background in the bedroom." Hidan said, "Besides, you do not want to be in a relationship with a virgin if you're a virgin too. I mean, think of everything you'll be able to bring to the table if you have some experience, you know."

Shikamaru carefully scanned Hidan. He was serious about this. This arrogant asshole was actually serious! He didn't know whether to feel insulted or listen to anymore of his bullshit.

"So, you want me to sleep with you so I can make the sex better? Are you absolutely insane?"

"I guess, if you want to put it that way, yeah."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Apparently, when it comes to what goes on behind bedroom doors. If you and this guy do shack up though, admit it, he's going to look at you for guidance." Hidan was having too much fun, despite how delicate the situation was. "Besides, say that you and this Chouji guy are perfect with each other. Do you really want to be with one person all your life? How boring is that?"

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By some miracle, Shikamaru said no and Hidan didn't throw a fit. He seemed pretty pissed off, but then again he was practically begging for a rejection. Right after Hidan finished his meal, he went to his bedroom. All he said was that there was going to be a Dexter marathon and he'd be in there for the rest of the night.

Still, even though that couldn't have went better (Shikamaru was seriously prepared for a fight when he said no), there was something weird about the whole thing. He knew that in reality he wasn't a virgin because he was saving himself for Chouji, even though that was romantic and all, he was just too shy to ever ask anyone out on a date. He never knew who was gay and who wasn't, and he didn't want word getting out that he liked guys or all the immature people in the village would make his life living hell.

So now that he knew someone who was gay, he was a little turned on by that alone. Add the fact that the guy is perfect in every possible way, plus he was interested very much in a relationship, and that made it practically impossible to even form the word "No". Even Hidan's poor persuasion made a rather valid point, Chouji hadn't ever dated anyone either. One of them had to know what they were doing if anything good was going to happen.

Maybe he could talk to Hidan about it? He wanted Hidan, but again, he was too bashful to actually say something to him about it.

Why does it even matter? Just make him swear not to say a word about it to anyone and nobody will know that it happened. Something in the recesses of Shikamaru's mind was trying to push him to get up and just go to Hidan's. This time, Shikamaru was too excited by the whole idea to continue being stubborn about everything. He got up and went down the hallway leading to Hidan's bedroom.

Dexter wasn't on, instead it was some lame movie preview. Shikamaru could hear Hidan snore, but he'd already come this far. He wasn't going to turn back, because he knew that he'd never be able to work up enough courage to try this again, even if he did want it.

Now if only he could just knock on the door.

He was right there...

So close...

Just...

Tap...

Quietly...

He's sure to wake up...

Oh fuck, I can't do it! Shikamaru inwardly cursed himself.

The theme music for Dexter came on and he heard Hidan jump awake.

Dammit, time to go-

"Shika, do you need something?"

Stupid shinobi instincts! "Uh... Well, not really. I won't bother you, since you're watching your show."

Hidan smiled a little bit, "Want to come and watch it with me?"

Shikamaru wasn't really interested in the show, seeing as he killed people all the time, but that was his easy ticket in. He went into Hidan's room and sat on the bed, on the opposite side as Hidan.

"Are you sure you didn't want anything, this is a re-run anyways," Hidan was happy to see that Shikamaru actually wanted to spend time with him, rather than be a pain in the ass with moods that changed like the weather.

"Well, I kind of did want to ask you something, but you can't tell anybody."

"Who would I tell?" Hidan asked. "I'm locked in here, and even if I did get out, I'm a wanted criminal. Do you think I'd hang around and gossip?"

"Well, no, but you have connections to Ibiki. I know he's not a friend, but you can't tell him no matter what."

Hidan chuckled, "Fine, what?"

"Alright, let's say, hypothetically, that I may have some sort of thing for guys with purple eyes and-"

"Didn't you just say no to me out there?" Hidan asked teasingly.

"Yeah, well I don't just agree on a whim, alright? Geez, maybe I wanted to think about it first!"

"Alright, alright," Hidan grinned. "So, tell me more about your thing for guys with purple eyes."

Shikamaru blushed, "Well, even though you can be a complete ass sometimes, you're probably right. Being in a relationship consisting of two clueless virgins is only a romantic idea. Not really practical."

Hidan pulled Shikamaru into his lap, "That's where I come in then?"

"Yeah, but I still don't want to just jump into bed with you."

"Haven't you already done that?"

"Oh, fuck you! You know what I mean!"

"I think I do, but tell me what you want anyways," Hidan couldn't suppress his grin.

"I want to be in a relationship with you. I want you to be my boyfriend for as long as you can, because I think I'm starting to really like you."

"You're starting to like me?" Hidan held Shikamaru tighter, "Well, I can't argue with that."

Shikamaru blushed and let himself melt into Hidan's arms.

"I have a condition though," Hidan said, despite pushing his luck already by holding Shikamaru.

"Watch it, this is really weird for me already."

"You have to sleep in here from now on."

"As if! I said I want to take things slowly!"

"It's not like I'm going to do anything differently, I just want to be able to hold you all the time."

"Tch, forget it."

"Oh come on, please?" Hidan asked in a whiny voice, like a kid who's asking for a toy. "I'll be good, I promise."

"No way, this is the room where all that weird stuff happened when you prayed! It's creepy, so no."

"Alright, I sleep in your bedroom then?"

Shikamaru really wanted to say no, but there wasn't a whole lot of harm. Hidan could just as easily do anything while sleeping next to him that he could have done sleeping down the hall.

"Fine, but no 'praying' in there, or whatever that was before. And no other creepy stuff that's going to make it hard for me to sleep, kay?"

Hidan kissed Shikamaru on the cheek. "Deal."

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Aw, it's adorable.

P.S.

Since fanfiction . net doesn't accept explicit stories anymore (jerk-faces) I'm going to be looking for another site. I'll tell you when I find one and all, but I'm going to keep this one and update it until it gets deleted or whatever they do. Apparently they don't know that the largest amount of stories on this site consists of lemons. How boring... It also means I can't write that other lemon with Orochimaru and Hidan that contains a lot of violence, sex and torcher (not mutually exclusive ideas, btw).


	11. Absolutely Unsure

God, I'm so glad that I finally got out of the rut I've been in for so long. So far, all I feel like I've been doing is screwing around with lovey-dovey drivel. Sickening, eh? I mean, I knew I'd put some in there, but geez! I'm just glad this chapter isn't nearly as bad as some of the previous.

Sidenote: This was hell to write though, I think I'm addicted to my new pokemon game. The whole time I was writing, I was fueled by the anger of not getting winning one of the stupid mini games and finally decided to take my frustration out on poor Shika. Well, at least it made me feel better.

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The first night sleeping with someone else in the bed was awkward for Shikamaru. The problem wasn't really with Hidan himself, even though he snores sometimes and other times he talks in his sleep. Rather the problem was that Shikamaru never bunked with anyone and he had trouble sleeping next to someone now. Eventually, after Hidan took a break from his (rather graphic and scary) sleep talking, Shikamaru fell asleep and he didn't wake until late morning.

Of course, even though the sun was shining so brightly in the room that sleeping was impossible for the Konoha nin, Hidan wasn't showing any signs of getting up just yet. Perfect for spending a little time alone, thinking (now that thinking wasn't such a dangerous thing to do). He decided to start an easy breakfast and let his mind take him whatever it wanted to.

He got up and didn't bother changing out of his pajamas. He smiled at Hidan, who looked so nice when he slept, then went to the kitchen and started an easy meal. While it cooked, he sat at the small kitchen table.

Really, there wasn't a whole lot to complain about. Sure, everything was going absurdly fast, and Shikamaru couldn't say no to Hidan if his life depended upon it, and yeah, the whole mission was pretty much the biggest drag ever. But, Shikamaru knew it could be a hell of a lot worse. Hidan could be allowed to do whatever the hell he wanted to. Ibiki could have said to hell with the whole idea of protecting Shikamaru, and let Hidan have any weapon he wanted here in exchange for information. Hell, he could have been trapped in that cave with Hidan for days before Ibiki bothered showing up.

Yeah, things could be better. Shikamaru could be at home right now playing Shogi with his dad, or hanging out with Ino. Things still could be a lot worse though, so rather than cursing his bad karma again, Shikamaru settled for just accepting the situation as neutral. All he really wanted to think about right now was Hidan, and how to go about being in a relationship with him.

He's completely and utterly psychotic, and he might sacrifice me to his insane god if I make one false move, Shikamaru instantly thought pessimistically. Sure he's good looking and kind of sweet sometimes, but really it's not going to be easy.

"I'm a complete idiot sometimes, I swear," Shikamaru cursed under his breath. Agreeing to Hidan's spur of the moment requests just wasn't a smart thing to do, despite the risk of making him mad.

Shikamaru was completely enveloped in his own thoughts when a quick rapping at the door snapped him about to the real world. He was curious as to who would visit him, while he was on a private mission with an S-ranked criminal, but not necessarily enough to answer the door. There was no desire anywhere in Shikamaru to let anyone know his current predicament that didn't already.

The knock came again, a little more pronounced this time.

"Dammit, this place was abandoned. I hope to god that it's no one I know who found out about people being here," Shikamaru whined and went to the door. Surprise, surprise. It was the bastard who put him on this mission in the first place.

He grudgingly opened the door, "What the hell do you want, Ibiki?"

"Nice to see you too."

"Oh, go die in a hole."

"Things not going well with Hidan, I presume?" Ibiki asked with little interest and walked into the building without worrying about invitation.

"No, we're getting along fantastically, except of course he's a psychopath who cuts his chest open and bleeds out on the floor every time he prays." Shikamaru was in anything but a sociable mood right now, "I have some food cooking in the kitchen. What do you want?"

"Nothing to do with you," Ibiki said and looked down the hall where he knew the bedrooms were, "Is he awake yet?"

"If he was then it wouldn't be nearly so quiet in here, now would it?"

"No need to be so harsh. This is a really important mission that you're doing," Ibiki reminded, with no particular emphasis. His words managed to carry so much more impact when he seemed completely indifferent, somehow. Shikamaru was just glad he was on the same side as Ibiki. Just by the man's general demeanor you could tell he was frightening person, his job was totally fitting for someone just so naturally scary.

"Yes, I know. You've said so before."

"When does Hidan normally get up?"

"This is only my second day here, how am I supposed to know anything about his routine?"

Ibiki sighed, "You know, I don't mean to make you so miserable or put you in such an unfavorable position, Shikamaru."

"What are you going on about?"

"Asuma was a great person who's dearly missed, and that's why this mission is so important," Ibiki continued, showing no signs of coherence yet, "I even put some flowers on his grave and talked to him about what's going on."

"I don't care about that. You're not doing me any favors by telling me this, you know."

"How many people have we lost trying to track the Akatsuki?" Ibiki asked solemnly, "Asuma's death was a horrible loss, but he's not the only one who died at the hands of these monsters. How long are you going to feel sorry for yourself while more people are in danger of dying because of these people at any moment now?"

"I'm only still here because I know that!" Shikamaru shot back, "But that doesn't mean I have to like any part of this, alright? I just want you to go, alright?"

"I can't. I need to ask Hidan a few things, make sure he's familiar with my rules. You'd better go make sure your food doesn't burn, I won't be long here at all." Ibiki turned towards the bedroom, "I won't be regular, at least not if I can help it. I would rather stay out of your life as much as I can without allowing something horrible to happen due to Hidan's... Hidan's erratic personality."

Shikamaru knew anything more that he said wouldn't do any good. Ibiki obviously had mandatory business with the immortal or he wouldn't be so damn persistent in the first place. Instead of arguing anymore, and just fighting a lost battle, Shikamaru went to tend to the food he was preparing before it did burn.

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"Hidan, wake up," Ibiki ordered loud enough to stir the zealot from his sleep. "Hidan, get up, now."

"Shika," Hidan moaned instinctively, since he believed it was only him and his boyfriend in the house.

"Not quite."

Hidan cracked his eyes open and as soon as he saw Ibiki, he practically jumped from his skin. "Holy fucking Jashin-sama on high, you should have to wear a mask around sleeping people. No one wants to wake up to that ugly ass scarred up face!"

"You're hilarious. But I didn't come to hear you talk about me, I've come to lay down some ground rules set by the Hokage herself."

"Fuck you, I'm too tired."

"I brought a written copy so you can read it later."

"Fuck you!" Hidan snatched the pamphlet that Ibiki pulled out as he talked about the written copy, "I don't fucking read, dipshit!"

"Listen, this is important if you want to keep Shikamaru."

Hidan wanted to rip the man's throat after giving such a threat. Taking away Shikamaru was something that he would never allow to happen, but killing Ibiki wouldn't get him anywhere at all. He didn't let anger or fear show in his eyes, however. Knowing Ibiki's game and fighting it was the only chance Hidan had to keep his lovely little boyfriend.

"What the hell do you have to say then?" Hidan finally asked.

"Well, after all you've told us about the Akatsuki, we are definitely grateful, but I can only let you keep one of our prized shinobi knowing that you won't kill him. Not only if he's in danger, but if a single word you told us turns out to be false on your part, then we'll take him off this mission and feed to you starving rats while you're still alive and breathing." Ibiki practically hissed those last words for emphasis, he was a little disappointed that it wasn't scaring the man visibly, but that each word that came out of his mouth carried a powerful impact.

"Yeah, yeah. Rats, really? I was hoping to get something original from you, Ibiki."

"Are you paying attention, Hidan? I'd hate for you to miss out on a single syllable." He answered with an aloof attitude "Not only will we feed you to starving vermin, but I swear that your dying wish is to be killed before real torture starts. I'm through being patient just because you're a valuable person to this village. I will put you through the most unimaginable cruelties that man has ever thought of laughing all the way through the ultimate suffering you will endure before the sweet embrace of death finally catches up with you."

"I'd love to see what you have in store, but really you don't have to pretend to have a plan. I'm not tired of looking at Shika yet, although I'm sure after a nice fuck and everything, I'll be over him. Until then, believe everything I tell you like the motherfucking gospel 'cause I got a few reasons to get the Akatsuki wiped off the face of the Earth."

"You're saying it's just lust between you and Shikamaru?"

"Was there ever anything to lead you to believe otherwise?"

Ibiki's eyes narrowed, looking for some sign given by Hidan that showed ingenuity. Nothing, as far as Ibiki could see, disclosed anything.

"As long as you know the game, and the consequences for losing, I'm done here. Have fun with your lover, I'm sure you'll fuck up soon and it'll be over anyways."

"I'll be looking forward to being put in your loving care, fuck face."

Ibiki sighed, and left without any profound sense of accomplishment, which he had hoped he would get after the meeting. Not much could be done about someone like Hidan though, seeing as the man was ignorant and much too full of himself to even understand that he wasn't given the upper hand.

Hidan knew he was in trouble, he just happened to be good at putting up a front. He was all too aware of the delicate balance of his situation, seeing as Jashin always made sure to remind.

If only Jashin would've reminded him that Shikamaru was in the same building. The walls were thin. Shikamaru could hear every word.

And Hidan thought he was in trouble before Shikamaru decided to eavesdrop.


	12. A Fine Mess

Earl Grey tea is better than coffee! Or so I have found. I'm not even tired even though I've been getting thirty minutes of sleep a night for quite some time now.

Here lay the fruit of my caffeine fueled labors (plus lots of candy). Enjoy~

Also, a little sidenote: I beat my game I was obessed with and I think that'll help me write these faster. I don't know, maybe not, but I might start updating more now if I don't find something else to occupy my weekends. :)

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If you've never been romantically involved with anyone before, then you're most prone to devastation once you get to be in your first intamate relationship. Shikamaru found this out the hard way, by hearing someone who he actually cared about admit that there was nothing more than physical attraction on his part.

Not a single notion of actual love.

Not even enough to lie and protect him.

It hurt Shikamaru more than getting a break-up text or being stood up could ever hurt anyone. The things that Hidan said to Ibiki were unforgivable, and yet he wanted to hear what the other had to say about them.

_It wasn't worth getting the zealot worked up, though._

Hidan's just way too violent to confront about anything head-on, Shikamaru found. Some people just couldn't deal with things in a blunt and sensible manner, while others couldn't think to do it any other way. Hidan happened to be one of the people who just couldn't handle his problems the way that Shikamaru always dealt with his own.

After Ibiki had left, and for sure wasn't going to come back soon, Shikamaru called Hidan to breakfast. A familiar silence formed between them, just like every other meal they ate together. Whether tension happened to bring itself out when the two sat down to eat or if neither of them happened to be great at talking and eatting at the same time wasn't clear.

Just as he normally did, Hidan inhaled his meal rather than ate it. Afterwards he took his dishes and threw them in the sink, not expecting either of them to worry about something so trivial for awhile.

"I'm going to go pray," He said to Shikamaru, blissfully unaware of how upset the other was. He had no idea of the turmoil going on inside of Shikamaru's head dispite sitting right across from him for a good half hour and therefore didn't have any need to be apologetic.

Shikamaru didn't give a reply, but Hidan didn't notice. He made it to his room that he was sleeping in the night before last, and closed the door

_Figures that he doesn't even care._

_He acts like he didn't say those things._

_Or that they don't matter anyways._

_He has no idea I even heard him._

_Jerk._

Shikamaru bitterly thought, and put his dishes in the sink. He wasn't a great house keeper and didn't mind leaving messes, as long as they wouldn't get in the way of daily life. Right now he wouldn't even care if they did get in the way of daily life, though. He just wanted to go to his room and sleep, so he wouldn't have to think.

So maybe he'd wake up and things would be better.

And just maybe he would've jumped to conclusions and everything would be fine.

He went to his shared room with Hidan, thankful that the zealot was busying himself in something else so he wouldn't be there. Right now, he wanted to hear what Hidan had to say for himself, but was on the verge of screaming at him and that was the last thing that either of them needed.

Shikamaru quickly found himself tuned into some random movie, cuddled up in a blanket until he fell asleep.

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After praying, Hidan went to find Shikamaru. He didn't have to look hard, because his boyfriend was cuddled up on their bed and looked too cute to be a shinobi.

Hidan slipped on the bed and manuevered himself on Shikamaru's side, seeing that whatever his boyfriend was watching earlier was what most likely put him to sleep in the first place.

While Hidan was half-tempted to turn Dexter on, he thought better of it. He had a habbit of outbursts during that show and waking up his cute boyfriend wasn't something that he was aiming to do. Instead, he settled for just turning the T.V. off before it put him to sleep and cuddling with the unconcious Shikamaru.

If not for previous experiences with the very man he was hugging, Hidan might've had a hard time believing that someone with such a slender frame and calm disposition could be a well-respected ninja.

Even more unbelievable, though, was that Shikamaru hadn't woke up. After all the training that he's had to have been through to get to where he was, he wasn't waking up even after Hidan crawled into bed with him and started cuddling.

_Maybe he's getting used to me?_ Hidan wondered, happy with that idea. Shikamaru looked so dreamily content while he slept. So much better than when he was awake, and something always seemed to be weighing on his mind.

Hidan was laying back with his boyfriend lying by his side, in his arms. Hidan lightly stroked his cheek until he seemed to be a bother.

Shikamaru opened his eyes slowly, "Hidan?"

"Sorry, Shika. Didn't mean to wake you up."

Shikamaru wasn't as mad about what had happened earlier, mainly because he was too tired to even remember something like that just yet. Instead, he was happy to be getting to much attention from his new lover.

"I didn't know you knew how to be nice," Shikamaru joked light-heartidily.

"Oh, very funny."

"I thought so, too."

Shikamaru shifted slightly to make himself more comfortable, but still lying on Hidan. "How long have you been in here?"

"I don't know. Not too long, or I'd be dead from boredom by now."

"I don't think you can actually die like that."

"You know what I mean," Hidan countered and brought Shikamaru closer with a tight hug.

Shikamaru smiled, "Yeah, yeah. So, you're not bleeding all over this bed too, after praying. Right?"

"I wouldn't do that, since you already expressed your whimpy fear of blood."

"It's not a fear of blood. I just don't like my bed looking like a slaughter pin. That's all."

"Well, whatever. Same difference."

"No, I don't think it is. Because if I was afraid of blood, I wouldn't have been able to bandage your wounds."

"True. So you're just afraid of the blood giving you AIDS while you sleep?"

Shikamaru couldn't help but chuckle a little bit about that, seeing that it was expected from Hidan to be (unnessecerily) vulgar. "I guess if that's the way you want to put it, then yes."

"Hey, has anyone told you that you're adorable when you sleep?"

"Seeing as the only people who really see me when I sleep are my parents, and they don't count, no." Shikamaru smiled at the compliment.

Hidan sat up so he'd be more comfortable talking, and Shikamaru was brought up with him. "Hey, I don't mean to fuck up the mood, but were you okay earlier?"

"What do you mean?"

"You looked pretty pissed at breakfast. Then you just came back in here and fell asleep."

"Well, I guess I'm just not feeling well," Shikamaru mentally scolded himself for his horrible cover-up. He rememebered how mad he was at Hidan now, but he couldn't just flip out. That _he'd_look like a jerk.

"You know, you're supposed to tell your boyfriend when you have a problem."

_Dammit. I'm even more transparent than I thought I was!_

"Well, when I asked you about your religion since it caused a problem already you didn't tell me anything," Shikamaru countered, trying to change the subject.

"That's because I fixed the problem myself and you don't have to worry about it anymore," Hidan snapped back. He was starting to get mad at Shikamaru for not talking to him about what was wrong with him.

"Well, I'll fix my problem myself then."

"I'm not giving you that option, now why don't you just tell me why you're acting all pissy, then we can talk about it. Either that, or you could just make this a pain in the ass for everyone by bitching all day."

"I'm not bitching, maybe I don't want to talk to you about it, especially not when you're yelling at me for nothing!"

"It's not nothing, and I'm not yelling!" Hidan countered, even though his voice was rising. He took a deep breath, and repeated softly, "Your problems are something, and I'm not yelling."

"For the last time, it's not something I want to talk about right now," Shikamaru replied firmly.

"Well, it's something that I want to know right now."

"Fine!" Shikamaru snapped back, not seeing any reason to punish himself anymore by not telling Hidan what's wrong. "I heard. I heard everything that you and Ibiki were talking about this morning."

"By everything, you mean that-"

"I mean everything, when I say everything, Hidan. Oh, and by the way, nice job screwing up a perfectly good mood when I just woke up," Shikamaru said and sat up, away from Hidan. "Do you understand why I didn't want to talk about it? Because now you're going to get all mad at me and start yelling for whatever reason you come up with, and-"

"I didn't know you could hear," Hidan muttered incomprehensibly under Shikamaru's angry rant.

"That's your excuse?"

"I said those things, but I didn't mean them."

"Why would you have said them then? Do you just like talking shit about others when you think they can't hear you or aren't around?"

"It was for a fucking reason, and I don't need you fucking patronizing me all the way to Jashin knows what!"

"Fuck you, because I'm not that one who said you're a sex object that I don't care about!"

"That was just so Ibiki didn't think that he had an upperhand! What do you want me to do?"

"Not say things like that, whether you're lying or not," Shikamaru replied, and his eyes narrowed on Hidan. "Do you expect me to take stuff like that in stride?"

"I didn't expect you to hear it. I expected Ibiki to walk away thinking he lost and I won. I expected you to be cooking, and then maybe be in a good mood for once."

"I can only be in such a great mood after someone calls me a sex toy, then wakes me up from a perfectly good nap to bitch at me for being mad at something that should offend me."

"I didn't mean any of what I said! I'm done trying to justify this to you, because it's not like I'm not going through a bunch of shit too!"

"Hidan, you can't blame anyone but yourself for being here. You're the one who chose to be a criminal. You're the one who chose to be in the Akatsuki, and you're the one who chose to tell that lie when you knew I was one room over. There must've been a million other things that you could have said to avoid making it look like Ibiki has the upper hand, which he does anyways, and instead you chose that one!"

Hidan was finally through yelling. He pushed Shikamaru to the side and got off the bed, "When you cool down, I'll be accepting apologizes in my room."

"That's my line, jackass!"

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I think listening to all this heavy metal recently is making me even more negative than usual. Anyone think there's too much drama? I do! And I'm writing the god-awful thing!


	13. A Just War

How I love Hidan. Actually, I like religious people period. Either they're nice, so hypocritical it's funny, or off their ass insane. Sure there are the annoying ones, but if I really believed that God was going to strike down infidels, I'd be annoying in my attempts to save people too. In any event, this is pretty fun (even though I forgot about it until the day I had to update).

Sorry Izzy, I know you're supposed to edit this, but I forgot to do it in advanced! Love you anyways?

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It's so strange how a simple turn in conversation can turn a pleasant moment into a nightmare. One unnessesary word uttered had the power to ruin and entire day for some unlucky person.

Hidan was that unlucky person. It wasn't even Shikamaru who was ruining him at the moment though, even as the situation was crubling between them. It was Ibiki.

"_I'm sure you'll fuck up soon and it'll be over anyways."_

He was a master of psychological torture, that was for sure. Ibiki's smug expression, his ugly mug, his arrogant demeanor, it all set Hidan's blood to boil. Even more than what he said, was how true it was proving to be.

It just couldn't end so stupidly though. There was no way that it would. Jashin wouldn't let it. Hidan wouldn't let it.

Then again, there was no way that a proud person such as Hidan would go to his boyfriend who was pouting in the other room and pour out his heart. Some people would jump to do that just because, but even while no one was around, Hidan couldn't bring himself to do something so, well, sappy.

And because of the stubborn pride that came so naturally to the zealot, Shikamaru couldn't be dealt with. Even if he even without his stubborn nature, forgiveness would be a difficult quest. With it, Shikamaru's absolve would be an impossibility.

So, rather than talking to his boyfriend, Hidan chose to pace. Never was he one to sit down to think, instead he felt the need to always be moving, and hopefully and idea would come to him. Of course, the only thing that came to mind was stupid apologies, which were thrown out the mintue they surfaced.

"Dammit! Why does he have to be so fucking difficult!"

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Great, he's fuming. Shikamaru heard Hidan's motion and grunts from his room. As far as he could tell, Hidan was beating himself up pretty badily. Whether it was for being stupid enough to get caught, or rather actually being sorry for what he said was the mystery.

If he was actually sorry for what he said, then Shikamaru would give him a little trouble for everything, but forgive him none the less. If instead he was just mad for getting caught, well then, hope and pray Ibiki wouldn't be too mad if some terrible accident happened and Hidan was thirty feet underground and in chopped up bits.

Or was that maybe a little too harsh? At this point, vulgarities and insensitivities are as expected from Hidan as him not wearing a shirt. They weren't explained at all, but they were expected.

Even while he was mad at (and comtemplating butchering) Hidan, a large part of Shikamaru nagged at him to forgive the oaf. Sure he was insensitive sometimes, and yes he said something very bad, but there was no way that he actually meant any of it. He cared. He just had to.

"Dammit," Shikamaru muttered under his breath. What was he thinking? Was he desperate? Maybe just so fasinated with hearing that someone "loved" him, that he lost all common sense? Either way, it was strange that any part of him wanted to even think about forgiving him.

He couldn't sit in his room all day and think about how much he'd like to forgive a complete asshole, though. It was unheathly and frankly, unapealing. Instead he went to visit Hidan's room, not to give an apology, but rather to receive one.

Although Shikamaru had half a mind to barge in and yell and vent until he was satisfied, and maybe then some, he knew that would solve nothing. Instead, he came in rather quietly, and didn't demand attention rudely. Of course, that meant waiting for Hidan to notice him and stop his pacing, that was going to wear out the floor soon, so he would notice.

"Shikamaru?" Honestly, when Hidan said he'd be expecting apologies in his room, he truthfully never thought one would come.

"I don't like fighting."

"Neither do I," Hidan said and walked over to embrace his boyfriend. Instead he was pushed away.

"But we do need to talk."

"Didn't we already?"

Shikamaru hardly called a dazed argument that happened when he was still tired from his nap a "talk", and didn't mind pointing that out. He also didn't care for Hidan acting like he wasn't the bad guy here.

"I don't think we could call that talk," Shikamaru replied lowly and went to sit on Hidan's bed. Even though the room still scared him after the little incident, that wasn't going to postpone what he needed to happen for a single second.

Hidan agreed, somewhat, and went over to the bed, standing infront of Shikamaru. He didn't want to sit down only to be pushed away again.

"Listen, I want a chance to tell you what'd happening, alright?"

Shikamaru nodded, that was exactly what he came to hear in the first place.

"But first, before I even go into that, I want you to know that I love you. I wish I didn't say that stupid shit, I wish I wasn't such a fuck-up. Okay?"

It was surprising to hear Hidan say these things so sincerely, but it was none the less welcome. Shikamaru surpressed a smiled, so Hidan didn't get the impression he'd be getting off easily.

"I'm going to tell you everything, though. Why I joined the Akatsuki, why I'm here. Everything."

Shikamaru was a little skeptical, pretty certain that all the cards would be laid on the table so easily. No harm in at least giving it a go, though.

"Alright, Jashin wanted me to fucking destroy the Akatsuki because they were trying to create a world order. He can't just come down any time he wants to kick heathen's asses so that was my job. I joined the Akatsuki and was partnered with this old geezer from the fucking dinosaur era for Jashin knows how long. I was trying the whole time to find the weaknesses of the organization and only thing I could figure was eliminate them with over-powering numbers.

"Sounds pretty easy, like I didn't really try to think of anything better, but I'm not the one you want to count on for a job as serious as that. I couldn't kill all of them myself, even with Jashin backin' me up. When I figured out that the only way was to work out a major over kill tactic, I told Jashin while praying of course.

"I'm guessing the old bastard heard me praying because sure as shit, pretty soon I was tied and gagged, sent to this hell hole with no chance of getting anything done. Least that's what I though when I woke up to Ibiki's creepy cackling, of course I wasn't putting pieces together very fast 'cause of all the drugs I had pumped in me anyways.

"After awhile, I figured out I could make Ibiki an offer that helped out both of us, especially me. I gave him information about the Akatsuki as long as he promised a complete destruction of the fucking heathens. I also asked for a decent place to stay. Then I asked for you, even though I was pushing my luck with just a cruddy apartment until my death sentence came around. To my surprise, he was eager to grant all three of my conditions as long as what I told him was true.

"'Course I'm not the greatest story teller in the world, but I have to go to something else now, since next thing I remember is you walking into the cave. Guess you have a real reason to be pissed at that, but you don't act like you're mad about that. I can't really give an excuse for what happened there. Anyways, from there Jashin's been giving me good vibes, sayin' that what I did was right and I did a good job.

"He's been like my wingman this whole time, helping me out when shit gets rough, but I'm really a fuck-up, as you can see. I wanted Ibiki to still give me whatever else I wanted, so I lied to him about how important you are to me. I couldn't give him a trump card."

That was a lot to take in at once. Shikamaru was a little bit over-whelmed at all of it. He never expected Hidan to be one to feel obligated to explain himself. There were quite a few things with Hidan's story that was bothering Shikamaru, though, and more-so than the zealot's horrible grammar.

He took a deep breath. If everything wasn't so inimately personal and important, Shikamaru might've laughed at Hidan's expressions throughout the story and been more lighthearted at the end. "Hidan, I'm really glad you told me all of that. Not all of it is something that makes me really happy, but just you telling me is really great. I want one more thing, though."

"Anything for you."

"Tell me about Jashin."

Hidan froze. He couldn't do that. Shikamaru didn't want to learn about God to convert, he just wanted to know for the Hell of it.

"Shika, that's like me asking you for the secret soft spots in Konoha's defense."

"You said anything. I asked for something."

"Something I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to!" Hidan protested.

"So you don't want me to know?"

"If you wanted to learn about God for the sake of being saved, then yes. That's not what you're after. Until then, I can't tell you."

"You said before that you'd tell me about Jashin, though."

"I said I'd tell you about rituals. Stuff that would involve you like what happened in here. I'm not allowed to just tell you everything on a whim, though."

Shikamaru glared. He was an athiest. He didn't understand the big deal. He never did with religious freaks, but this was even worse. This time it actually mattered. "I want to know what's going on, Hidan."

"I can't tell you! Didn't I already tell you enough?" Hidan asked desperately. "You know that my religion is important. What kind of an asshole are you to ask me something like that after I just spelled out my fucking life story to you!"

_Didn't I already tell you enough?_

That hit Shikamaru pretty hard. He just got a touching story from a zealot who wasn't even beining to be in tune with his feelings. Then he asked for more.

"Dammit."

"Listen, I can't take you bitching at me anymore, so just stop right there, alright?"

"Hidan, listen." Shikamaru started lowly, "I'm sorry. I'm still pretty mad at what happened, but I think I understand why you said that at least. I just want to stop arguing for a little bit."

"That'd be nice."

"Let's just go lie down."

Hidan smiled wearily, never expecting to go through such an ordeal for something that just slipped out of his stupid mouth, "Yeah, that sounds good Shika."

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Aw, they made up. Kind of. Aren't they just adorable?


	14. Unproductive Progression

I Something you all may want to know, this story is only going to be a few more chapters. I'm thinking of a sequel, but then again there's the chance I'll want to write something else before I start a sequel, and if that's that, then you may just want to use your imagination.

I would try and come up with an excuse as to why these are constantly late, but really I don't have anything good so I just hope that no one's pissed at me for saying I'd get these out every eight days and it's not really turning out that way.

Luckily for you guys, I'm stuck at home sick and I don't feel like reading. It's miserable, but I don't know which is worse, going to school with a bunch of liars and fakes who keep catching me talking to myself (damn them), or stay at home with pneumonia.

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The night was creeping in on Shikamaru, too quickly for him to be comfortable. He felt as if he just saw the afternoon's light shine brightly through the window, but now it was pitch black outside. He shook his head and closed the blinds. Something was bothering him, however what that something was couldn't be said quite yet.

Hidan, for his own reasons, chose to go to his bedroom before he came to lay down for the night. Shikamaru wanted him to come straight to bed, but thought it would be better to not say anything.

For some reason, the Konoha nin was cold and lonely. He sat on the bed and pulled the chilly wrinkled sheets on his bed around him. Too many things had went on since he got here for anything to be a great comfort, except the picture he kept of himself and his team, including Asuma.

He retrieved the book he stashed the picture in and pulled it out. He felt so happy back then, when he was a genin fresh out of the academy. He saw Chouji smiling at the camera, and Ino with her arms around both her teammate's necks in a friendly way, smiling brightly. Asuma stood in the background with a beaming smile. The only one who didn't look completely happy was Shikamaru, who was acting as nonchalant as always.

He silently scolded himself for not smiling, but never the less enjoyed the picture. It brought on a countless million memories of lame missions and impromptu adventures. Ino was one for complaining when she was younger, about how lazy Shikamaru was or how Chouji should watch how much he eats. Shikamaru laughed when he thought really how frustrating he must have been to Asuma when he was young. He never did anything unless it involved life or death, and that meant during his earlier years he literally did nothing helpful for his team.

Laughter turned into tears at the thought of causing Asuma trouble. Not tangible sobbing, but he silently lamented. He realized as he wiped a silent few droplets from his eyes, however, that he didn't feel butterflies in his stomach as he thought of Chouji, which was very unusual.

His thoughts, however, were cut short as Hidan's footsteps could be heard down the hall. He put the picture behind his library card and opened to the book so he would look like he'd been reading.

"Shika," Hidan whined, "Don't tell me you're going to be reading, I want to go to sleep."

"I was just passing the time waiting for you," Shikamaru answered and closed his book.

Hidan smiled, as if relieved, and climbed into bed. He kissed Shikamaru on the cheek before he noticed how red the boy's face was. "Are you alright, Shika?"

"Fine," Shikamaru answered and looked down.

Hidan glared, "Let me try again, and you can answer without lying, are you alright?"

Shikamaru avoided his boyfriend's eyes. They seemed to pierce right through him, "I was just thinking-"

"About?"

"My friends."

Hidan noticeably relaxed. "So, it wasn't anything I did, then?"

"Well, if you want the truth, I was thinking about Asuma, too."

"Dammit."

"I don't want another fight, Hidan. I really don't."

Hidan, instead of defending himself or being aggressive, took Shikamaru by surprise and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry. I really, really am. But he attacked me, and that's how it kinda is, you know."

"Hidan-"

"Wait, listen. I know, I was cruel, and a major bastard, alright? I understand that no matter how well we get along I really can't be forgiven for that, but I don't want you to hate me either."

"It's not what you did, it's what I didn't do," Shikamaru said softly. Hidan barely caught the words.

"What do you mean?"

"I was an inconsiderate bastard when I was a kid, and there were so many things I could've done to help Asuma."

Hidan had Shikamaru pulled onto his lap, while he was only partially sitting up. He saw there was so much that Shikamaru was upset about, but believed very little of it had anything to do with himself. He bent down and gave Shikamaru a kiss on the cheek.

"Hidan, what if I told you that I was scared?"

"Of what?"

"That I'm doing something completely wrong here?"

"I'm still not sure I know what you mean, Shika."

Shikamaru sat up and faced Hidan, "Asuma wouldn't hate me for this, would he?"

"For being with me, you mean?"

"Yes! He wouldn't want me to be here, I don't think, but if I loved someone, he would never step in the way. He even knew that I cared about Chouji, I think, but he never did anything to get in the way of us."

"Did you just say you loved me?"

Shikamaru blushed, "Don't go off topic, this is serious!"

"Sorry, sorry. So, what's the problem? Isn't he a real shinobi?"

"Of course he is," Shikamaru replied testily.

Hidan felt that he was walking on thin ice, "Then he wouldn't hold a grudge against someone who beat him in battle, right? I mean, this is to help your village on top of everything, isn't it?"

"I don't know if it's that simple," Shikamaru mumbled, as if defeated. He was waging an internal war right now, and that was apparent to Hidan. If only there was something to say that could clear the mixed feelings and they could both be happy for a little while.

"What kind of guy was he?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me what he was like."

Shikamaru smiled a little bit, "He was really funny and a good shogi player. Not as good as my dad, but he was always up for a game. He taught me a lot and never gave up on me, even though I caused him more than a few headaches."

"Hey, Shika, I'm sorry to stop you," Hidan interrupted at a point where it seemed Shikamaru paused.

"Hm?"

"This Asuma guy, what was he to you?"

"What?"

"He was more than just your teacher, wasn't he?"

"Nothing like that, geez! That's just sick-"

Hidan put up his hand to stop Shikamaru, "Not like that. He seems like he was always there for you and believed in you."

"Yeah, and?"

"He was like a father to you."

Shikamaru was a little bit shocked. That was it. Shikaku was his father, and by no means a dead beat, but he wasn't there to play bored games or encourage him or even say that he believed in his son. Asuma never failed in these things.

"Hidan," Shikamaru started carefully, "I think you've got it."

"He'd want you to be with someone you loved, and wouldn't hate me, I don't think."

"He would want me to be with you if I loved you-"

"So, do you?"

Shikamaru looked down and blushed, "I don't think that's what's holding me back."

Hidan raised an eyebrow. Shikamaru just wouldn't say it directly, but it seemed that he was in love. "Then what?"

"Do you love me?"

Hidan felt that like it was a punch in the gut, and he lost all his breath. He couldn't answer if his life depended on it.

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed, "Well, do you?"

"Shikamaru, of course I do. I always have loved you. I'm not sure, exactly how to say this, but ever since our battle-"

"You mean after I kicked your ass," Shikamaru was a little taken aback by Hidan's reluctance. He didn't mind being openly angry.

"Yeah. I know it sounds weird, but you being able to beat me, well. That was amazing. I really never met someone who was able to beat me like that."

"So if someone else had nearly put you six feet under, you'd be in love with them, too?"

"No!" Hidan answered, he didn't want to sound like a floozy. "That just made me interested in you. Love came after that, I guess."

Hidan's words seemed to carry the truth. While kind of inconsistent, they didn't seem to be lying or hiding behind a masquerade. Shikamaru believed him, his mind didn't feel clouded or like it was forced into forgiveness or believing the zealot this time, like he had been previously.

"There's one last thing bothering me, Hidan."

There was nothing on Hidan's mind more important than sleeping right now, but if he said that, the he would probably be kicked out of the bedroom. He chose to humor his boyfriend hoping that one last thing was really just one thing.

"I don't care about Chouji anymore."

"The one you said you loved?"

"Yes. And I mean, he's still a good friend, but I love you and I don't want to be with him."

"You mean you're choosing me, over him?"

"That's right. But I have to know that you think of me as more than just a fling."

"I just told you-"

"That you loved me. And I believe you, but words aren't enough," Shikamaru paused and looked down. "Because I also believed you when you were talking to Ibiki."

"Shikamaru-"

"Stop, right there. I just want to say that I don't know how to tell truth from lies coming from you. Not yet, anyways."

"So what can I do to prove to you that I love you?"

Shikamaru bit his lip, "I'm not completely sure about that. I mean, really I have no idea. I just..."

"You just?"

"I don't know. I want to know right away the truth, but at the same time I can't just know something like that so soon."

Hidan leaned forward and kissed Shikamaru on his lips. "There's no time limit, I don't think. Let's just sleep. It's been awhile since we've went to bed not fighting, hasn't it?"

"Hidan..."

"Don't say anything, just go to sleep. If you still want to talk about this later, when we're both not tired. Nothing good comes out of that."

Shikamaru smiled a little and relaxed on the bed. "Fine, but I'm not letting you off tomorrow so easily. I'm just tired, too."

"Love you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

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I figured out why I hate my story so much. More than it being mushy gushy blah. I've been reading Clive Barker and my standards for myself are being set extremely high, but besides that, I'm actually a pretty shitty writer. I just think I have an interesting concept that I'm writing about and that's why people are actually reading this so far into the story. Interesting, but badly told and not completely original, I don't think. (I didn't take the idea, but really, it's not so hard to think up.)


	15. Prelude To The End

Hm... I came across something that seems so obvious now. The reason these are so horrible to type out is because school basically exhausts any interest I may have previously had in putting time and effort into things. That also explains why this story is horrible. Well, anyways, now that I've gotten that off my chest, here's the next installment in my horrible story for those who get some enjoyment out of reading it.

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Shikamaru was still sound asleep when Hidan woke up. It was strange, because for the past days that they had spent together, Shikamaru seemed to wake up hours before his housemate as he would be well on his way through a pot of coffee and breakfast would be sitting out on the table. Maybe he was really just tired from all their arguments and hadn't been able to rest hardly at all during his stay.

Hidan risked the possibility of getting yelled at and leaned over for a good morning kiss. He gently pecked Shikamaru's thin lips and as if woken from a spell he opened his eyes and smiled. "Good morning."

Hidan smiled back. "Someone slept in."

Shikamaru yawned and shrugged. He normally slept in, but for some reason he didn't feel the need, or maybe he just felt uncomfortable in the house set aside for just them and couldn't sleep as late as he was used to.

"I almost didn't want to wake you up, you looked so cute while you were sleeping."

"I'm sorry, is there something you're trying to coax out of me, being so nice?"

Hidan blushed. "I was just trying to show that I really do-"

"You can't keep something like that up, Hidan. Just be yourself, alright?" Shikamaru sat up and kissed Hidan's cheek. It was flattering that the Jashinist would actually try to be so nice but at the same time it was really weird. Like Hidan wasn't himself when he was so nice.

"I just thought, since we were talking last night... Actually, I don't know. That was just a spur of the moment thing."

"It's fine. I'm gonna go make something to eat."

"Fine, I have to pray."

Shikamaru looked at Hidan strangely.

"Shika?"

"You're not doing that weird thing again."

"Shika, it's something that my religion requires. I'll do it in the other bedroom and take care of the mess this time."

Shikamaru looked agitated and left the room with an annoyed sigh. Just when things were looking up, Shikamaru had to go on one of his little tizzy fits, Hidan thought and sighed in defeat. What was the point of being so nice if that's how everything always turns out?

Hidan slumped to the other side of the room and from a pile of his dirty laundry he pulled out a rusted and bloody sacrificial knife. There was no mandates on the upkeep of these types of blades, although ones used for combat were to be routinely sharpened and well polished. Hidan sighed at the dulled edge of his cheap little dagger, even though he had no problem with the extra pain and work that came with the unkempt weapon. It was really much the opposite, but his frustration rather came from Shikamaru's lack of understanding.

He was such a self-righteous person, although he lacked energy to promote himself avidly, Hidan knew that the Konoha nin was decided in everything. He also believed himself to be right over everything else, especially when it came to opinions. Hidan was almost certain that Shikamaru was completely unfeeling towards religious people, and thought God to be only part of some fanciful imagination, or else just a hobby. So many of the "genius'" these days were atheistic and violently opposed to organized religion of any kind.

Could it ever come as any sort of surprise to Hidan that his boyfriend expects him to leave what gives his life meaning? Now that thought was put into the notion, the Jashinist only began to believe Shikamaru's open distaste for the ritual was deeper in meaning than just his dislike for the bloody mess.

Letting out a second defeated sigh (Hidan loved Jashin more than any worldly thing, including Shikamaru. What course of action was an option to keep them both?) and went to what was his bedroom before his move for a consult.

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Who the hell did that albino bastard think he was? Shikamaru had breakfast cooking on the stove and was raging an internal war. It was so foreign, the concept of complicated religious rituals. Not only foreign, but a huge pain in the ass.

Shikamaru was so much in lust with Hidan that it hurt just to wonder in thought about him. He wanted to just fuck him and let it all be over, but at the same time, he couldn't let that happen. First, fucking him wouldn't make the lust go away. Second, rushing into sex knowing damn well nothing more than occasional tension relief is all that's coming out of the relationship is what low-IQ morons who think with their dicks do. Shikamaru, as much as he wanted physical gratification and little else, wouldn't do something as reckless as rush into sex.

At least, not if he could keep control of himself long enough to establish some sort of relationship. He felt a little hypocritical for asking so much of Hidan while feeling little more than (now that he was fully ready to acknowledge the "feelings" he has) more than lust. How could that be helped though? One of them should at least think there's love in this ordeal.

Or should he just throw away his morals? He wasn't trying to set an example to follow. Hell, he was no one's role model. He was in the strangest of circumstances, and who would know any different, besides possibly Ibiki?

_Knock, knock._

Is it jinxed just to think about that bastard? Shikamaru grimaced, but was somewhat grateful to be pulled out of some of the most unpleasant thoughts he'd ever had to entertain (which, by the way, were only contributing to his shitty mood and general self-loathing and going no where productive).

He got up and opened the door.

"Shikamaru, good morning," Ibiki greeted and walked inside. "Where's Hidan?"

"Praying. I don't recommend bothering him when he has a knife."

"It doesn't matter either way, part of our agreement was that I wouldn't intrude on his praying. He's holding bits and pieces of the Akatsuki puzzle back just to ensure I don't overstep the boundaries we set," Ibiki said with a sigh. "Would you mind me staying until he finishes?"

"That could be hours."

"So you mind, then?"

"I can't say I'm particularly happy about it, but then again, I can't be around just Hidan all the time and keep my sanity as well."

Ibiki walked into the kitchen, ignoring Shikamaru stepping outside the lines a bit and criticizing his mission.

"Have you found out anything?"

"What do you need to know?" Shikamaru poured them both a cup of coffee and looked Ibiki in the eyes. "I'll find it out and get it to you if you take me off this mission."

"Well, Hidan has told me that there are four possible places for the Akatsuki to be in right now, and he's only told me two of them."

"That's a lie," Shikamaru said flatly.

"How can you know that?"

"Easy, Hidan's whole purpose in the Akatsuki was to ensure their destruction. He thinks Jashin lead him there to kill them. He's told me that there's almost nothing that he hasn't told you, he only wants to keep an upper hand on the situation. Also, he said whatever he hasn't said was nothing of consequence when it comes to destroying that damnable organization."

"And you think that's all true?"

"How about I convince him to tell you, tomorrow?"

Ibiki blinked, confused and surprised at the same time. "How are you-"

"Don't worry about it. I thought of a plan. A simple plan, but there's nothing to be concerned about. After he says what I told you, I'm off the mission, right?"

"I'll know if he's lying. I mean, it will be found out. Whatever you have him tell me must be the complete truth."

Shikamaru, motivated at the chance to get away from all of this, the roller coaster of emotion (I think I'm in love, it's just lust, I should hate him), smirked. "Ibiki, I'm not going to have him lie. I just want to get home and never, ever speak of this again."

"Understood," Ibiki replied, getting up.

"Be here, let's say around seven in the afternoon."

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"What the hell are you talking about Shika?"

"Ibiki said he's taking me off the mission if he doesn't get everything he needs to know. He's not as patient as some of the rumors let on. I thought you told him everything he needed to know."

"I did. I just didn't tell him that I did, and I made him think the opposite."

"You have to tell him that it was a lie," Shikamaru said adamantly. They were sitting on the bed that they normally slept on. Shikamaru was almost in tears. He always prided himself in being a rather good actor, though he rarely used those talents.

"He'll take you off the mission anyways."

"I'll ask him not to, he'll be in a better mood."

"I don't think it's a good idea, Shika. Please don't cry, I just don't think that will work."

"Then what?"

"If I don't tell him, he won't be able to take you off the mission. He was only bluffing."

"So you'd risk me on that hunch?"

Hidan shook his head. "Of course not. But he's not going to find out anything through torture or interrogation, is he?"

"He'll find a way, he's the best in Konoha."

"Listen, I'm sorry Shika. But what else do you want me to do? Telling him would make me an S-rank criminal with no reason to be here and not telling him will make him keep me because he thinks I'm important."

Shikamaru wiped away a tear that he managed to force out. "Is there any way I could change your mind?"

"What do you-"

Shikamaru leaned forward and kissed Hidan, effectively shutting him up. "There's still a lot of things I want to do with you, and if we only have till tomorrow afternoon, then let's do them. Maybe I'll convince you in the meantime."

Hidan was surprised at Shikamaru's words, but that's not to say he wasn't somewhat pleased. This was one-thousand times better than yet another argument.

Shikamaru didn't miss a beat, he got on Hidan's lap and started kissing. Despite the fact he was rather clumsy, he made up for it with passion. He wrapped his arms around Hidan's neck while the kiss was returned.

"Shika, don't we still need to talk?"

"Hidan, I'm a master of making plans. I've already thought of every alternative and the plan that I've come up with, even though there's a chance that we may be separated, is the best course of action. We'll think of something else, maybe, by the end of this, but I don't want to miss my chance."

"You really want to do this, then?"

"I would be on your lap like this if I didn't want to do it."

Shikamaru understood Hidan well enough to know he wouldn't give a shit after he got what he wanted. The only thing left to be wondered about for Shikamaru is when he became so willing to do anything for what he wanted. Maybe if he was suddenly thrown into this situation a year before he wouldn't compromise something that was so important to him without weeks and weeks of thinking up different courses of action.

But in his current state, he couldn't force himself to be so patient. He decided to do satisfy his lust and never have to see the zealot again.

"So, we're going to fuck?"

"No, we're going to pick out new furniture. What do you think we're going to do?"

"Just making sure, so I don't piss you off."

"Thanks," Shikamaru said lowly, and hoped that talking would be thrown out the window after his comment.

They quickly undressed, neither hesitant in their decision.

Once Shikamaru was completely undressed, Hidan kissed him passionately and pushed the dark haired man to the bed, not breaking contact. Their tongues danced in a fevered battle for dominance, fueled by passion and need for gratification.

"Fuck foreplay," Shikamaru mumbled once they parted for air.

"You sure?"

"As sure as I've ever been about anything."

Hidan wished they had some lube or lotion, but the place was lucky really to be stocked with food. He coated his fingers with saliva and gently pushed against Shikamaru's virgin entrance.

"Fuck," the man hissed slowly.

"Working on it," Hidan replied, his usual crude sarcasm was present as always.

Hidan worked his index finger in, and even though he knew he should be patient with his lover being a virgin, he couldn't much help himself. He began moving his finger and after only a few seconds he added his middle finger, about fifteen seconds he added his ring finger as well and started to stretch his fingers, slowly, but for the most part too quickly for Shikamaru's liking.

"Dammit, slow down."

"This is slow, Shika."

"I said, slow down, so if you're going slow now, go slower," Shikamaru replied with a menacing tone.

"Fine, sorry," Hidan said and slowed to a tortuously slow pace. Shikamaru, who was getting slightly more used to the feeling murmured a bit telling Hidan he could go a bit faster.

The process was rather slow, seeing as Shikamaru wouldn't be having it go too quickly and him rip open. Hidan was searching for his lover's prostate so maybe he could get a little more encouragement.

Shikamaru cried out and pushed back on Hidan's fingers, and that, the zealot took, was his cue to enter. His member was neglected and hard at the sight of Shika writhing under him.

Hidan positioned himself at Shikamaru's stretched and prepped entrance, and pushed himself in slowly. The man beneath him gasped and bit his lip to keep from screaming. There was a big difference between teasing and the real thing.

After a small eternity, Shikamaru motioned for Hidan to continue.

At first, concerned for Shikamaru (wanting to make his first time great), Hidan took special care to hit his prostate with every thrust, and begin very slowly. With no lube besides spit, Hidan knew if he was too rough it would cause bleeding.

He gradually sped up, taking Shikamaru's member in hand and pumping it according to his thrusts. They came only seconds apart, Hidan screaming out Shikamaru's name and Shikamaru just screaming a few vulgarities. It almost stung a bit for Shikamaru not to scream his name.

Hidan collapsed and said softly, "I love you."

Shikamaru was already asleep.


	16. Farewell Love And All Thy Law

Last chapter. It's shit, like the rest. Don't expect too much, I somewhat lost interest in writing this story. I'm sorry. It's hard to write when you don't like it anymore.

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"Hidan," A deep and familiar voice called from what seemed like an infinite and empty darkness. Hidan felt himself shiver.

"Yes, Master Jashin? I'm here."

"You love Shikamaru," it wasn't a question. It was more of an accusation.

"I do. Not so much that I love him more than you."

"You were hesitant to pray because of him."

"Yes, Master, but-"

"This is a dream. When you wake, you will leave Konoha. I have arranged it to be possible, through the southeast window in the kitchen there is a blind spot in the pitiful defense of this place. You will descend to the ground from there and enter the sparsely wooded area, and hide yourself the best that you are able until you reach the walls where there is a hole in the structure that I shall lead you to. You will never come within 1000 meters of Konoha again."

"Master-"

"You will wake now. Do not disturb Shikamaru. You should know, however, he only had sex with you to have you tell Ibiki the whole truth, thus ending the mission. He is unfeeling and cold, he does not love you."

"He has to! He-"

"Good morning."

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Hidan bolted upright. Luckily Shikamaru was tired and sound asleep. His sudden movement didn't so much as stir the other man. Could what Master Jashin said really be true? Did Shikamaru not love him? Did he lie all those times before?

Master Jashin would never lie. He had no need to, he is truth itself. Hidan bit his lip and got up. He had nothing that needed to be kept from this place, and if he did keep them, they would only serve as ugly reminders to what had happened here.

Master Jashin was concerned that Shikamaru would get in the way of his devotion. Nothing, and no one was so important that Master Jashin should be ignored, but this was quite possibly the most painful thing Hidan had ever forced himself to do. He risked a final good-bye kiss, planning to atone for this grievous sin somehow at another time.

When his lips touched Shikamaru's, he suddenly got the vision of when Ibiki had come in yesterday. Shikamaru said he had a plan then, as well as right before they had sex. Master Jashin's only intentions thus far were to protect his most virtuous follower. Hidan prepared for his leave immediately.

First, he snapped his rusted knife which he used in to many rituals, so it could never be used by an infidel. Afterward, he found his cloak and ripped it to pieces, mostly just to take out his anger, but also to finalize his betrayal of the Akatuski. Then he left in the way his Master instructed during his dream.

He left his love behind without a word and only a kiss that contained nothing more than bitter thoughts.

Master Jashin was right. Shikamaru was confused for a long time, but he never harbored love towards Hidan.

Or, he didn't know the difference between feelings of love or lust. His confusion led him to choices he'd more than likely never forgive himself for.

Shikamaru woke in much the same fashion as Hidan, nearly three hours later. There was a feeling of dread in the air. Hate lingered where love had been.

Hidan knew what happened.

He left.

He left.

He really left.

He was actually gone.

He couldn't have just left.

Why should it matter?

Shouldn't lust disappear when the person is gone?

Shikamaru swung his feet over the side of the bed and started looking around the house. It was only five in the morning. Hidan left, Shikamaru just knew he left.

Still, pointlessly, he called out. "Hidan? Hidan! Where are you?"

Ibiki would fume at Shikamaru for being so careless, but Shikamaru was more concerned with the prospect of actually losing Hidan more than being sentenced to a horrible punishment for letting someone like that leave.

How could he just leave?

He was just talking about love.

Now, he left.

If he was always capable of leaving, then did he really only stay for the sex?

"Fuck, I'm an idiot. Hidan wasn't in love with me, he just wanted a fuck and toss and I'm a moron!"

How could someone seem so sincere when they profess their love.

It was all just a clever act to get what he wanted, Shikamaru was sure of it.

He was only used. Nothing more. There is nothing less. There will never be any more.

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Yuck, that was such a short chapter. God, this story was a big pain in the bum. Sorry to those who may be disappointed. I'm proud of myself for finishing this thing, but really there are better ways to write and I'm ashamed of myself for being so lazy at the same time.

*I'm going to start the rest of the story, I hope you'll like chap 17!


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